Sorry if this is a very jumbled post, this is my first time posting in this format. Me (23M) and my girlfriend (22M) have been in a relationship for a year and 2 months. Our relationship has been very good for the year we have been together, but recently I’m just confused on where it’s going. I have a really bad battle with my anxiety coupling with insecurities about me not being good enough for her and me thinking she hates me. Funnily enough, she has been made aware of these insecurities and I have told her I am actively trying to solve these issues. I am also a very emotionally sensitive and feeling person so when I love I love hard, when I’m happy I’m very happy, etc. In the past I have also had a prior relationship that did not end well, and my childhood has not been the greatest as my father verbally abused me and my mother until I was about 13-14. My girlfriend is a very kind person, she just graduated college and is working two jobs. She is working a lot every week and is still living with her college roommates in our college town. She is also known to become irritable and she has said things in the past that have made me feel very sad in the moment and she will not rectify the issue immediately by saying sorry or consoling me until after she has came down from being mad. She is also very addicted to her phone and is constantly on twitter when I am at her house. What I am confused about and asking this subreddit today is how do I know she respects me, what boundaries do I need to set, and how does one not self-sabotage a relationship.
TL;DR: How do I have a healthy relationship with my girlfriend when I am insecure about her not liking me, or me thinking Im not good enough when she gets irritated at me and feels distant.