Okay I don't know if bad is too harsh but the title was getting long. I (27F) just had my second date with this guy (34m). We had agreed not to have sex today as my apartment isnt great for it (thin walls, small couch) but the tension is there and we had been sexting and making plans for the next time (not this one). I expected some kissing but there was a lot of it. I had that feeling that if I moved my head in his direction he would lean in for a kiss instantly, for pretty much the whole night. It was a bit like those "watching a movie with a guy" memes..
The kissing itself is where the problem also lies. I feel like our lips barely touched, it was ALL tongue. I love frenching but he was basically consuming me. I would try to kiss him slower but he would not match my vibe. Maybe I'd get lips on lips for half a second and then it was right back to tongue. It was deep in my mouth too.
I often felt turned on by him kissing and touching me so the attraction is there, but I felt tongue fatigued really quickly and would pull away to breathe, which is not normal for me. Normally I can kiss for hours.
He also kept having this slight suction on my lips and it felt like he was pulling on them a bit, which is just not a kink for me. I've never been into other people sucking or biting my lips..
I feel like kissing is like dancing where you have to feel each other's rhythms. I felt like he was stepping on my feet and that we were listening to completely different songs. I felt slightly overwhelmed by kissing him, and I absolutely love kissing in general!
I like him outside of this. We have lots of things in common, share friends and he even tells me about things he would like to do with me like going on trips and stuff, which noone has ever really done before. We just spend 4 hours together and they blew by. But I also feel confused about how sexual his energy was when HE was the one setting a boundary about not having sex today.
And then theres the kissing thing.. do I say something? Is it a deal-breaker? Is it really something to stop the relation over? How do I say something without hurting his feelings or being too controlling?