So my husband and I have been married for 3 years. Before we got married, we both agreed that we’d keep our finances separate because I make significantly more than him. I cover the mortgage, bills, and most of the big expenses, while he pays for groceries, some utilities, and things like dates.
Recently, he’s been saying that it feels “unfair” that we don’t have a joint account and that marriage should mean sharing everything, including money. He also brought up that since he makes less, keeping finances separate makes him feel like I don’t fully trust him or see us as equal partners.
From my perspective, I’ve worked hard to build my career and savings. I don’t want to mix my money with his because I don’t want to feel responsible for his debt (he has some credit card balances). I also worry that if we ever split, it would get messy.
He says I’m treating our marriage like a business deal instead of a partnership. I say I’m protecting myself and that it doesn’t mean I love him any less.
Now we’ve been arguing nonstop about this, and some friends are even saying I’m “wrong” for marrying him if I wasn’t willing to merge finances.
So… am i wrong for refusing to combine finances with my husband even after being married for years?