Me (F30) and my husband (M32) have been married for 8 years. I was happy with our sex life for the first 6 or so years, but over the last 2 years things have changed. We went through a rough patch with our jobs, finances, and overall stress, which deeply affected our relationship. We grew distant physically and lost the spark.
About a year ago, both of us started therapy—individually and as a couple—and we’ve been working on ourselves and our relationship. But the truth is, I feel like I don’t have passion for him anymore. We have sex only once every 4–5 weeks, and when I realize that, I get scared that this might be our new reality. When he tries to initiate, I don’t feel aroused or excited. Honestly, I don’t really miss sex with him at all—and sometimes I feel like I don’t even feel sexual in general anymore, which freaks me out.
We’ve talked about it, and he believes our sex life will slowly improve if we give it time. But when weeks keep passing without me wanting sex, I don’t know if waiting is actually the right approach. I love him deeply, but I’m questioning whether that love is still romantic or sexual. How can i know?
I’m only 30, and I don’t want to live a life without sex—but that’s basically what it’s been like for the past year. What should I do?