Hello all,
What would you do to move forward ?
I’m looking for advice. I’m a 35 male UK with own home , car and good job and good income . I met a girl in 2018 and she was the love of my life. Only trouble was , she was in Thailand. We would spend 6 months which each other each year / here and the UK. Because I was an idiot I didn’t put a ring on her , however there were some issues with her not enjoying the UK as much as I had hoped and our sex life suffered. I still found her attractive however I didn’t find her sexy and I didn’t know what to do about this. She really struggled to live here and although I found her pretty and beautiful , the sex was lacking.
In 2024 around June I broke her heart and broke up with her. I could not see a way to end the distance other than marriage and because of the above I didn’t want to get married to her . She was distraught . I for some reason just wanted her gone , it was the easiest way for me to do things in my head . However we kept speaking on and off about life , she has dated some people. I got into a relationship with some woman who wasn’t right for me and broke it off.
Anyway
Yesterday I rang her because I keep dreaming about her. We have been talking about life recently and she is doing well and going to the gym. She told me she was happy again and I was so happy and proud of her and I burst out crying . I have not cried for years . I then confessed how much I missed her and she basically stated the same thing.
I rang her today again and cried even worse. I cannot control my emotions when speaking to her. I’m a 6ft1 army bloke and I can’t stop crying. It’s not just sadness I just wanted her to be happy. But we both agreed that the same troubles in our relationship are still there. She is also crying because she deeply misses me
Have you ever felt this love for your ex , is it love ? Why can’t I stop crying ? I’m at a serious loss because I do not want to enter a sexless marriage which leaves me thinking if we should have got external help with that. I know I can fix the distance but I’m concerned this is just some weird phase , it’s been a year . Why can’t I forget her