Just a little rant, I’m sure others relate. I’m 27M. I’ve been single most of my adult life. I’ve had only 2 serious relationships in my life. One of which ended in a train wreck with my ex ghosting me, moving across the country to marry her ex (yeah I know).
Ive been on the apps for sometime, but the older I get, the worse it gets. No responses, ghosting, etc is frequent for me. Most recently I made it to the 3rd date with a great girl. We were both aligned on everything and had extremely similar hobby’s. Our 3rd date ended on a good note (kissing, cuddling), and she agreed to another date for this coming week. And then silence. I reached out to confirm our plans and I got the classic HR response. “It was nice meeting you but I don’t think we are a good match”. I can only assume she was seeing several others. It’s just frustrating to me when you find a good match and do everything right but yet you need to compete with 500 other dudes. I only it was only 3 dates, but I’m more so just disappointed in myself that it’s so damn hard and there really doesn’t seem to be much hope for dating in this generation.
13 comments
Breeze has been a diamond in the rough for me because it is currently designed to get to an irl date asap, but I can see how that does not help you at all.
At least it’s different from all the “swipe endlessly and avoid bot accounts” apps.
You should be dating several people at the same time.
Dating is meant to be talking to more than one person, and then seeing who fits you the best and then weed em out.
To be honest I agree how dating scene is in this generation. I feel you when being ghosted. I had similar experience where I was ghosted with no response at all after 2 meetings. I thought he was pretty cool and we vibed. I guess I was wrong. I guess he had other option so I kinda let the steam be okay with the thought that maybe he ain’t the right person for me.
We single people just have to keep our heads up.
Went on Tinder mid 30s. My experience was phenomenal. I say it constantly; most people who have trouble on dating apps are not interesting, funny, or know how to sell themselves.
I am willing to bed if you posted your profile it looks like a slideshow listing out your hobbies and things you enjoy. Which is boring as hell.
You’re 27. Two serious relationships is a lot.
Dating apps can be exhausting, it feels less about genuine connection and more like you are stuck in a constant competition. Honestly, it’s not you doing something wrong, it’s just the way modern dating works now. Don’t beat yourself up, the right person won’t leave you guessing or make you feel like you are competing.
Modern dating is all about the numbers. She is seeing a bunch of other guys and weeding out the ones that are not a match.
You need to be doing the same thing with women if you want to find your match. Every woman that you find beautiful and interesting, you need to make date plans with her.
Whenever I am playing the dating game, I try to have around 5 women on the go that I am carefully narrowing in on which one to take things further with. Women are doing this too.
‘Modern dating’ is all about efficiency, especially online. Swipe on the attractive ones, exchange a few messages, ask for her number, actually call and talk to her, ask her on date.
Repeat as many times as nessisary to find your match.
Tip: don’t get overly attached to anyone at this stage. If they don’t want to meet again, move right on to the next.
Yeah dude I get it, apps make you feel like you’re just another option in a huge lineup. You can do everything right and still get that copy paste rejection cause people are talking to a bunch of others. It sucks, but it’s not really about you. Real question is, how do you keep trying without letting all the ghosting crush you? You gotta change your approach to it
What you explained is pretty common and is ruining dating for a lot of people. Dating now is less about finding a connection and more about numbers and safety. Men can be blamed for this too but it’s more often women that have that control. There’s not really many options beyond carrying on playing the game or taking a break from the apps and taking a more ‘classic’ approach. You could also expand your dating pool by reevaluating what you want from someone.
Hey man, I’m also 27, but I’ve only been on a total of 3 dates in my life, and with two of them I don’t think the girls considered them as a date. You got a leg up on me; imagine how I feel. I have nothing better to do than just lie to myself to keep my self-esteem high and keep on trucking. *All human wisdom is summed up in these two words: Wait and hope – Some Dumas*
Man, I feel you on this. Modern dating can be brutal and draining, especially when you actually connect with someone and then get ghosted or hit with the “HR response.” It’s not a reflection of your worth , apps and the endless-options mindset have made dating way harder for everyone. You’re definitely not alone in feeling burned out.
I have zero expectations when it comes to dating. I rewired my brain to be like that so I don’t get false hope with any woman.