By “after,” I don’t mean immediately, I mean even after a 10-minute break, or even a 3-hour break, he struggles to maintain focus or energy for sex again.
I’ve discussed this many times, and it’s been emotionally challenging because it makes me feel insecure about:
1. My appearance
2. Our relationship
3. My skills (funnily enough)
He can only cum once per session. The most we’ve ever managed was two in the span of several hours.
I don’t expect multiple cumshots every time; I just don’t want intimacy to end immediately after the first instance, which usually happens quickly.
Since the first time we were intimate together two months ago, we’ve grown comfortable and natural with each other, but this issue continues to be a concern for me, and honestly its not pleasant for me to have sex knowing that it will stop in 5-15 minutes,
I’m looking for advice on how to support him or address this challenge together.
EDIT: I am not entitled in any way, I forgot to mention that he doesnt do foreplay on me(he says its demasculating), he IMMEDIATELY stops after a cumshot, altough all we have is the penetrative sex.. Since I dont have foreplay of any sort. He does dirty talk a lot tho so I guess thats a little bit of pleasure.
UPDATE -> here
16 comments
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Post title: My boyfriend wont continue having sex after a cumshot
***
By “after,” I don’t mean immediately, I mean even after a 10-minute break, or even a 3-hour break, he struggles to maintain focus or energy for sex again.
I’ve discussed this many times, and it’s been emotionally challenging because it makes me feel insecure about:
1. My appearance
2. Our relationship
3. My skills (funnily enough)
He can only cum once per session. The most we’ve ever managed was two in the span of several hours.
I don’t expect multiple cumshots every time; I just don’t want intimacy to end immediately after the first instance, which usually happens quickly.
Since the first time we were intimate together two months ago, we’ve grown comfortable and natural with each other, but this issue continues to be a concern for me, and honestly its not pleasant for me to have sex knowing that it will stop in 5-15 minutes,
I’m looking for advice on how to support him or address this challenge together.
***
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Focus less on him not being able to have penetrative sex again, which is something that he can’t control no matter how attracted to you he is, and focus more on the things you two can do for intimacy before and after penetrative sex. Explore sex toys, oral, fingering, etc.
I say this not to be rude but to point out that every man has a refractory period before he can get hard and have sex again. For some guys it’s very quick. For some guys it could be 24hrs. It doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you or think you’re pretty.
It’s not easy for some men to get hard again after cumming. You could turn round two into a foreplay centric round focused on touching and sucking each other with plenty of dirty talk where your orgasm is the goal.
Otherwise, you could try one of those mail ED treatments. My husband takes at least an hour to get hard again. If we want a round two and to go to bed at a decent time, he will take a hims before sex. He will be hard again in 15-30 mins
I am like your boyfriend in that I only shoot once. The refractory period is very long, so for hours after that I have zero interest in sex. I don’t think anything can change that – it’s biology, genetics, whatever.
That being said, both me and my partner know about this. So we focus on her for a looooong time before I shoot my shot. She gets 3, 5, 7 orgasms, then I get mine, then we’re done for the night.
That’s incredibly common. I would say more common than not.
To me it reads that you are trying to push him even though he cannot physically perform.
Your expectation that your partner should keep performing sexually after a short break, or even a few hours, is frankly outrageous. It’s like demanding he run a second marathon right after collapsing at the finish line. He’s a human, not a wind-up toy you can crank for endless rounds. Most men have a refractory period—sometimes hours long—where their body literally can’t go again, no matter how much you wish it could. Insisting he overcome this to meet your 5-15 minute complaint is not just unrealistic, it’s unfair and ignores basic biology. You’re turning intimacy into a performance metric, which is a surefire way to make you both feel inadequate. Instead of treating him like a broken machine, talk to him about what intimacy means to you both and work from there. If that’s not enough, see a therapist, but drop the outrageous expectation he’s some stamina superhero.
Damn biology! Getting in the way of an entitled woman’s happiness again!!
It is normal that some guys can’t go another round. Maybe he can work on it. Tell him how important it is and how you feel about it. Tel him your expectations and what you want in bed. Maybe he could try to go to a sexuologist
While some guys can go multiple rounds – most simply can’t. This is common – though some guys will fake orgasm to make it seem like they can. Others take viagra or the equivalent to allow them to stay hard after orgasming.
Your bf should both focus on satisfying you before he cums and find the energy to use his mouth/hands if he doesn’t.
It really doesn’t have anything to do with you, so don’t take it personally. It’s all on him.
Most men have a refractory period, where they can’t go for a while after ejaculation, it’s nature’s way to make sure we aren’t going at it 24/7 (because we would be). It varies in length but most guys can really only go one round especially after age 25.
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If he “doesn’t care at all about you getting off” then the problem is that he’s a selfish asshole. Pretty normal for a guy to not be able to get hard right away again but not normal/healthy at all for someone to say they don’t care about your pleasure whatsoever.
Time to move on.Any person not interested in your feelings or wishes is not worth staying with.Especially saying it directly to you.Your too young to be stuck with someone like that.
5 minutes of PIV is beyond the US average. So if you’re doing 15 minutes, you’re getting 3 times the dicking most do.
There are plenty of people that can’t/don’t want to do multiples. I’ve had 30+ partners and only 2 wanted multiples in the same day, much less immediately. It’s also extremely common for men to lose all interest in sex after orgasm. He likely has very little control over either of those things.
If you want sex to last longer you need to be able to clearly communicate that to your partner. “I’d really like sex(from foreplay to PIV to finish) to last 30-45 minutes. If that means we need to take breaks, do much longer foreplay or figure out a rythm that let’s it last longer”.
>I forgot to mention that he doesnt do foreplay on me(he says its demasculating)
If someone said this to me, I would dump them on the spot. There are lots of men out there, don’t date ones who are seriously toxic like this.
Try to explain what you need and prefer in a positive way. In the end it’s all about making the other one understand and decide that your needs are as important as his. If you do explain it to him in a healthy and non judgemental way and maybe also add what you like about your sex too. Then it’s his turn to adjust to that and either he is selfish or he realise stuff he didn’t know and try to become better.