I (30F) thought this might be interesting to either help people see what they're doing wrong or help me see what I'm doing wrong. Feel free to criticise why I've cut and run or add why you've cut and run.
Also if I've been chatting for a while I don't ghost I'll tell them I'm not interested I feel like it's the right thing to do because I don't like being ghosted. Unless I think they're a psycho (ghosting is necessary sometimes). I'll miss off the usual no spark, dead conversation or they sent unsolicited pics. These have all happened in the last 4 years. Genuinely don't know why I can't find someone half decent now.
Reasons I've stopped chatting:
1. First few messages constantly saying about how beautiful I am – weirds me out and makes me feel awkward like they couldn't start a conversation.
2. Dumped his last gf a month after she gave birth because she wasn't the same anymore.
3. Called Taylor swift a gold digger for rerecording and releasing her albums after I said she was one of my fave singers. Then said some other concerning things about "all women want is money".
4. Started talking about the wedding dress he'd want me to wear after a week of chatting, told me he basically wanted someone with little to no experience who was basically a saint (he acknowledged virgin was unrealistic) but then also asked me to put my boobs in his face while he was out drinking.
5. He told me he was in the bath- this was constant in the conversation it was a bad attempt at being sexual, when I say constant he said it when I was messaging him in the morning, then again in the afternoon and again in the evening and each time he would try get me to discuss this, the last time was him saying he wished I was in the bath too.
6. It came out that he had zero intention of ever learning to drive and he expected his girlfriend to take him everywhere.
7. He started spewing nasty hateful stuff about LGBTQ community (I have a trans sibling) I won't repeat it here but it was gross, I challenged him on it and he then brought up god, I mentioned I don't believe in god as there's no proof and then he called me wrong in the head and said he couldn't deal with someone as stupid as me. – I guess this one shouldn't really be here since he cut it off but as soon as his hate speech started I knew I wasn't interested but I couldn't help but say something.
8.Called me darling after a day and kept messaging me when I wasn't replying due to being busy.
Reasons I've not gone on a second date:
9. He tried invite himself over several times after he showed up hungover, wore a top with a stain and barely spoke.
10. He asked if I had ever been pregnant (profile says I don't have kids) then asked if he could kiss me (I said no) then tried put his hand up my skirt. (I actually went to the loos and left this date).
11. Suggested we moved to another city together and also got extremely handsy.
12. Told me he was single found out after first date when he came clean that he had a gf and kid and wanted to leave them for me!
Now on to the psychos, the guys I should have ghosted but politely told them they weren't for me and good luck. I now ghost if I think they might go psycho.
The another city handsy guy (11) I told him he wasn't for me and good luck, he asked why and I said he was a bit too forward for me. He sent me some vile hateful texts and then blew up my phone constantly, I kept declining and it took a while for me to figure out how to block a phone number because I hadn't done it in a long time, but also it'd take over my phone screen every time I was getting somewhere.
Wedding dress guy (4) told me he thought I loved him then went Andrew Tate on me and it was wild the stuff he was spewing but also kinda scary. I remember being shocked but got sucked into it, essentially criticising his opinion and having a go at him. When it became too much of an argument I just blocked him but he was foul, I didn't just dodge a bullet there I dodged a whole military attack.
Sorry for the long post if anyone actually read this far… I'd have added on why my 2 relationships ended because they were rough and brutal but think I should stop talking at this point. Do I attract psychos or something? I know there's normal nice guys but I can't find them or maybe I overreacted to some of these?
TLDR: list of guys I've spoken to/dated and why I stopped speaking to them