hi, i’m 22F and in a relationship of almost 4 years with my boyfriend who i absolutely adore and am extremely attracted to. however, i have this thing where after like the 2 year mark with boyfriends (i’ve only ever had one other before this relationship and he was the first i had sex with) i really struggle with penetrative sex. i feel like i’ve coded myself to be a sex machine in the beginning to make my partners dreams come true then once i really consider spending years of my life with this person i realize i can’t keep that up forever. it’s like i never even wanted sex in the first place, it was just something i felt i had to do and do often in order to be desired. i love my boyfriend and im trying to explain this all to him but i don’t think he understands and i know he’s dissatisfied with me. i read “come as you are” and got absolutely nothing from that. all the therapy i’ve had about it just feels so vague and confusing and i wish this would just come easy to me. i also really really dislike receiving head and just overall get so sensitive down there that sex at its best is a chore and at its worst is terrifying to me. i really don’t want to be one of those girlfriends who constantly denies sex so if someone could help me understand where to go from here i would be so grateful.