Hopefully this is the right place to post.
My BF [45M] and I [35M] have just started getting intimate over the past week or two. We discussed kinks and I shared mine which I have never told anyone before. His kink is role play, specifically police, so I bought a full outfit, fake handcuffs and came up with an elaborate role play scenario which he LOVED. We did this scenerio for about 15 minutes until he wanted to have sex. Prior to this I asked him A LOT of questions about his kink, what he liked, didn't like, etc. so that I could make him happy.
However, when the tables were turned and I told him about my kink he did not want to engage. A couple weeks ago I explained that my kink is hypnokink specifically he would pretend to be hypnotized and I would give him commands and I told him the commands I like – specifically two – one is that he lets me worship his body but doesn't know it's happening and the other is that he strips or flex every time he hears strip or flex. I explained I would only ever do this in private when it's just the 2 of us and obviously hypnosis isn't real and is all acting. He acted VERY uncomfortable. Cut to 2 days ago we meet up and I fufill his kink again. However, he NEVER offers to do mine. So finally, I ask if he'd be willing to play along with mine and he agreed but seemed uncomfortable. He admitted he didn't do much research but did view one website which has hypnokink content and thought it was weird. Prior to this, I had explaiend to him how embarrassed I was of my kink and how I never told anyone.
We tried my kink for <5 minutes before I gave up as he kept refusing parts of the story (he wouldn't say he was married, he wouldn't follow certain commands) and the parts of the kink he would do he did so half-ass it was actually embarrassing. I understand people don't feel comfortable with kinks and I would never want someone to be uncomfortable but I feel like the fact he put 0 effort into researching my kink or even playing along while I spent a lot of money and time on his is disrespectful.
We were planning a weekend away next weekend, but I am thinking of cancelling. I feel the sex is unfulfilling at best and I just don't feel he respects me enough to engage.