28M, Years and years of trying and still I suck at talking to girls and getting dates and when I do, I end up not really being interested. I've approached hundreds and hundreds of girls, gotten tons of numbers, 90% have flaked, and the very few dates I have gotten, things just haven't progressed for one reason or another. When I talk to women, they are almost never interested. I've talked to women at parks, coffee shops, bars, clubs, etc… Also tried OLD. Nothing. Years and years trying to overcome this and the only thing I have to show for it is just a few dates over the past 6 years.
I think I just suck at flirting. Whenever I approach a girl, I can't seem to get their interest well enough to get them to later respond to my text messages or even give me their phone number most of the time. Clubs are the hardest. Groups avoid me on the dance floor. I don't know how to enter in and I awkwardly try but I get blocked. Even when I do talk to people I bore them so much with the boring shit I talk about that I end up being rejected. I know some techniques for flirting like playful arrogance and cold reads but I just don't feel like I can do those things cause 95% of the time it comes out super awkward and scripted and the women instantly feel that.
Last night I tried to go out with some friends(who all came with their girlfriends). I honestly didn't want to go where they were going. I'm a salsa dancer and I wanted to dance with other salsa dancers at bar where they were having a Latin night where I know salsa dancers go but when they went there they said it was empty and to go to the other place. I begrudgingly said yes because they were already at that other place. I also didn't want to go because the night before I had already gone to another clubby Latin place and didn't feel like going to another one tonight. I wanted to go to a place where people dance for real.
But I decided to go there because I just didn't want to stay home. So I spent the money for the Uber to go there. I get there and my friends were just dancing with the girls and not really laying much attention to me so I tried to go off and do my own thing but I was too chicken shit to approach groups of girls on the dance floor and when kinda tried once I got blocked off. I didn't try again because this has happened to me a million times at clubs and already knew that if I tried to get in that I was going to be ignored at best. So I ended up just standing there scanning the room and looking for other girls cause honestly I didn't care about anything else. Not the club, not the music. I danced with someone for a bit but I was just too uncomfortable and awkward. I told one of the friends that I wasn't feeling it and just went home.
Seeing those people are the club just made me feel more alone and given that I suck with women and have failed to get anything going after years of trying and sometimes I feel like I just want to self-delete because I think I am going to always be awkward, boring, and undesirable to women.
And yes, I have hobbies. I have an otherwise "good life". I make $120K a year, live in the middle of a big city, renting a nice apartment that I can afford, I have hobbies like salsa dancing, traveling, and gaming and I am trying to explore more, money and time permitting. I workout and although I don't have a six pack, I'm relatively fit and have muscles so that's not an issue. I also just got back into therapy for the 4th time.
I just feel extremely hopeless right now. I have failed in ways that I think most men didnt have to fail. Most men didnt have to try for several years approaching hundreds of girls just to get one person. Most men don't consistently turn women off by trying to be flirty in an attempt to not be be seen as boring. Most men figured out all of this shit, have been in relationships at some point, are comfortable sexually, and have had a few sexual encounters. I on the other hand, am not any of these things. I'm too afraid of being humiliated and failing in the bedroom to even get close to having a casual encounter. I have had no relationships, and the only two sexual encounters I've had were so awkward that I couldn't even finish and they ended up making me feel worse afterwards. I just feel like shit and have extremely little hope that things are going to get any better.