Having a really hard time getting over a rejection.

3 months ago, around early june I was scrolling in Tinder, before that I had gone on many dates that didn’t really go anywhere for different reasons so I wasn’t really expecting much. One day I get a match with this cute looking guy, smart looking, blonde hair, blue eyes, my type if im being honest, we start talking and the conversation starts a bit slow because most people on Tinder take forever to answer a text but I notice even though we talk really slow we had a lot to talk about so I ask for his insta and we start texting over there. We start talking more and more and everything goes great, we talked about our everyday life, politics, our family, past experiences etc. With time we start to send each other photos and videos to reply which takes more time than texting but it was nice to see how we spoke with actual words and see our faces so we did it anyway.

It reached a point where we would spend almost half an hour just to reply with videos and pics, at the time I thought this was a sign because if you like someone you will take the time even is just once a day. Now to clarify this guy and I didn’t live in the same city, it’s around an hour and 30 minutes which is not that much but considering that when we started talking this guy was full of college tests and had to spend a lot of time studying we talked an entire month before meeting in person. July comes and when he was done with the tests we met in person, it was an amazing date we spent the entire day together talking about nonsense, he even came with a little gift because the day before was my birthday, we kissed and everything but when I was about to leave he told me he had to travel for a volunteering job for 10 days, at the moment I tried to play it cool because in the big picture 10 days it’s not that much and he told me they were doing a party when he got back and that I should go with him.

Days pass and he leaves, and this is where he starts to pull away a bit, we start texting every other day but I assumed that it was because he was just busy, it still bothered me a bit though so I decided to tell him that for me to see myself with him in the future I needed to at least talk to him more by text since we didn’t live in the same city, and that even though I understand that he was busy studuying when we started talking and then he had to travel, I wanted to see him more from that point forward because I really liked him (all of this happened by late july/ early august so by that point it had almost passed a month without seeing each other). Still I wanted to tell him all of this in person so I told him I wanted to see him because I needed to speak something with him, we had some trouble because of bad weather but we finally met again the second week of august.

That day I arrived early at the bus station so I bought him a rose (very cliche I know) and when he arrived he told me he was cute and was thankful but was kinda cold about it. We start walking and catch up (we didn’t had a lot of time because he arrived at 12pm and had to leave at 3pm, which was weird but at the time I ignored it) we sit down and we finally talk, I tell him all the things I had in mind that I said before and after I was done he told me he needed to speak with me too, he told me that I was a great person but that when he was volunteering he started to question why his friends would text to their gfs even though they were busy and he didn’t feel like it (he literally told me the day we met that he didn’t liked texting very much and that’s why he would take his time to reply but I didn’t say anything) he also told me that when he was there he realized he didn’t liked me and that working there met someone else, he clarified he hadn’t even kissed this person or anything but it was in his life now and he didn’t want me to dump me by text so that’s why he came to visit me.

I was in shock so I didn’t say too much more than the usual I understand. We went to the bus station in silence because he had to leave already and hugged wishing the best for both of us. When he arrived home we talked a bit but not much, the day after I asked him if he was just looking for better options when we were talking and he said that he didn’t, just realized he didn’t liked me when this person came. After that we barely spoke until last week when I got drunk and I sent him a full on essay asking him why and hoping we could get together again with time and that I still had feelings for him and wanted things to work out, he replied like 10 minutes after that (it was 3am) saying “thank you for saying that im drunk right now but I will reply properly when im not”. This was a thursday and he replied on sunday after I texted him asking him if he was gonna reply or not, he said that I was an amazing person but he didn’t liked me and that we could still chat every once in a while but not with the same intensity, he said also that from experience I shouldn’t think in the what could have been because it would only hurt me more and that I should leave it alone because sometimes things are as simple as that.

I didn’t opened the message until tuesday and I replied on friday (again drunk) saying his actions didn’t make sense because if he didn’t liked me then why he would literally said I was good looking, why he would spent half an hour recording himself answering all the nonsense we talked about, why he told me the day we met he waited all day for me to kiss him, why after that he was inviting me to that party (which I never went by the way because when he arrived to his city didn’t text me till the day after and the party was the same day he arrived), all of those actions you don’t do to someone you don’t like, not even someone you are not sure if you like them, and by the point we met each other we had spent an entire month texting each other everyday so he must have had an idea of who I was as a person and if he liked me or not.

I sent that text at like 5am and he still hasn’t replied, yesterday I texted him again and told him I was sorry for drunk texting him again and that he can take his time to reply, I also told him I noticed that it was is brother birthday so I wished him a happy birthday and said I hope you had a good time, but he still hasn’t answered. I don’t know what to do, I can’t get this guy out of my head and even though we met only two times the feelings are some of the strongest I have felt for somebody in a long time, I don’t want this to end like this and even though people have told me to just block him I can’t do it, any advice or thoughts about all of this mess?