I(F27) didn’t wait until marriage but I saved myself for when I fell in love so I have only kissed and been with my now husband(M28). I was 100% happy about waiting to fall in love to have sex and I was proud that I had only been with my husband but recently I caught my husband emailing his ex(F31) and he said it was nothing but catching up with one another and how they’re doing but it brought up all these feelings for me of jealousy. His ex seems like the type of girl who is a party girl and promiscuous and now I feel like I saved myself for my husband for no reason because I thought him being the only person I’ve been with would make him respect me more but if he’s going to just lust after party girls and girls from his past, it feels like it was all for nothing.


13 comments

  2. Unless there’s some good reason you can’t avoid like similar circles, work, etc, there’s absolutely NO reason to ever be catching up with an ex when you’re married except to try and have sex with her.

  3. My wife waited. I had a feeling she felt like she missed out too. We figured out some unorthodox solutions.

  4. About the same here but everyone I’ve been with they broke up with me and I had those plans myself. Just keep your values your attitude everything. You can’t stop people from doing what they do.

  5. Saving yourself might have saved you from STDs? But in general yeah it makes you less experienced and there’s kinda no point, guys don’t really value it the way catholic people claim they do

  6. I didn’t regret it at all, but also my husband wasn’t in contact with any exes. A married man shouldn’t really be talking to anyone he was in a serious relationship with or had sex with.

  7. no dont regret saving myself… and I know my husband too has no regrets ..we are each others first …..I am the one with the ex and I have zero reason to ever catch up with him. we never even emailed each other after we broke up..we pretty much went our separate ways.

  8. Purity culture got me and I “saved” myself. Took a long time to get over my sexual hang ups but now having great sex at 20 years married. But yes, if I could do it again, I would 100% have had other sexual partners before marrying.

  9. I have no regrets. My wife was my first, on our wedding night. I absolutely love that all my memories of my sexual firsts, bests, wildest, etc are of her. Wouldn’t have it any other way.

    **If he’s communicating inappropriately with an ex that on him. Has nothing to do with you or your sexual experience.** Even someone who has been with only one person can be adventurous and enthusiastic with them & that’s as much as anyone can ask of any sexual partner.

    And having experience doesn’t make anyone good at sex necessarily. My wife had been with 3-4 boyfriends before me. Based on her earlier inability to articulate what she likes and all the discoveries we’ve made together of what drives her wild, it’s very clear no one was hitting it out of the park sexually speaking.

  10. Someone who has slept with multiple people is worth just as much respect and has the same value as someone who waited, please get that through your head.

  11. Purity culture is mostly about control of women. However, saving yourself for marriage and your husband having bad boundaries with his ex have very little to do with each other. Maybe it’s time for marriage counseling?

  12. I regret it 100%.. I feel the added element the intimacy brings is important to the overall picture of a relationship.

  13. > I thought him being the only person I’ve been with would make him respect me more

    😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 purity culture isn’t about respect

Leave a Reply