My girlfriend (21F) and I (21M) have been together a while. For the last 8-9 months, I’ve been covering all expenses (groceries, gas, etc.) while she’s unemployed. We live rent-free, but I’m still the only one contributing financially.
I’ve repeatedly asked for more affection in our relationship—we haven’t been intimate in over a year. Each time I bring it up, including recently when I also asked her to be mindful about spending while we’re in debt, she reacts with a flat “ok,” shuts down, and won’t explain what’s wrong. She later said she was “upset” by what I said but wouldn’t clarify why.
I get that it might feel like I’m criticizing her, but this is a huge problem for me—it’s affecting my happiness, finances, and how I feel about the relationship.
Has anyone dealt with this? Am I being unreasonable? How can I bring these issues up without her immediately shutting down or responding negatively?
TL;DR: I (21M) support my unemployed girlfriend (21F) financially and have asked for more affection and mindful spending. She shuts down every time I bring it up. How do I address this without it turning negative?