Me (M39) and my wife (F39) have had a pretty decent sex life for the past nine years – for the past five years we've had kids so sex has been a little more sporadic but in the past year or so it's gotten hotter as our communication has improved and a couple of kinks have evolved.
A couple of times over the past few months in the passion of the moment my wife has stated she loves it when I take control – the first time was when I was holding her arms down when fucking her, the most recent was at the weekend when I was moving her head up and down when she was giving me a blowjob. She also asked me why I loved spanking her ass so much when I was fucking her (I said in the moment it feels like I own her which she loved).
So in my head I thought we're both into a very light BDSM thing with my wife being a bit of a sub, but having read a couple of posts on here I'm not sure if that is totally the case and she just likes being desired – maybe a bit of both…?
I ask for ideas and inspiration around this, as I think if I framed it as light BDSM my wife might be put off (she told me about a friend who had loads of heavy BDSM gear which she was freaked out by a couple of years ago) but I think lighter stuff like blindfolds etc could work if I framed it in the right way. We've been talking a lot about what we like and how it makes as feel at the moment so it feels like a good time to explore this.
She does love being teased by me, that's a huge turn on for her, when I use my hand to touch around her pussy and almost grab it but leave it a while before putting a finger in which is why I think we could stand a bit of spicing up. Maybe ramping up the dirty talk telling her what to do could work too?
Anyone been in a similar position and could give some advice?