Me and my partner have been together for almost 7 years now. We have been engaged for 1 year and 5 months. I have been asking him if when is he planning to marry me, but eventually I got tired of asking him over and over so I just stopped. Last month he told me he wants to get married before this year ends, which made me excited and happy. I thought this was my go signal to plan the wedding. I booked the date just a small civil wedding with 8 guest since I don’t like big weddings. I booked the 28th of November and paid the fee, when he knew I booked it I wasn’t sure if he was really happy but I was.
Couple weeks have gone by, I was having problem with my workplace, I quit my job as I was being discriminated and treated poorly. He suddenly snapped at me when I told him the news. He told me stuff that would make me feel guilty of him having to bear all the responsibility, but afterwards he said “sorry”. Me, being always understanding and forgiving, I forgave him straight away.
After a week I feel like he didn’t want to push through the wedding, he told me that I booked the wedding too early. I really feel bad when he told me that. I don’t know what he wants, I asked him nicely if he wants me to reschedule the booking and wait till I get a job, he just said “I don’t know”.
At this point I don’t know what to feel, I know in this generation it’s hard to live off in one income, but I don’t plan to be unemployed for the rest of my life. I don’t know If it’s right to feel this way but a part of me is questioning his real intentions with me.
Before everything happened, he got redundant in his job, I tried my best to make him feel I will be his side and told him not to worry as I have calculated my salary and I assured him that we can live off with that while he looks for a job. I made him feel that I will stay by his side no matter what. When he got the job that’s when he told me he wants to get married by end of this year.
Now with all that being said, I have canceled our wedding since he wasn’t sure about it anymore now that I don’t have a job. I never dream of a big wedding and he knows that. At this point I don’t know what to feel, my excitement about the idea of getting married with him is all gone. Now I am questioning what he’s real intentions with me.
Can someone give me advice?