Me and my boyfriend are in a long distance relationship since may 2025, and knew each other before that due to being in the same friend group.
Keep in mind i’m currently getting off antidepressants after five years, i have PMDD (currently right before my period), ADD and also mild autism. So i’m not always rational.
He is sometimes very affectionate through text and in calls, but i have felt it fading away recently. He doesn’t call as often, doesn’t use heart emojis as often as he used to etc. I feel like i have to ask him to show me he appreciates me. Every now and then he’s sweet and even showed me a song that made me think of him, told me he misses me etc but that’s not every day and it happened more often when we just started dating.
He is going through a major life change right now because his work place will be shutting down in a month and he hasn’t found anything new. He is also looking for a new apartment and might move to another country. When he first found out he was very distressed for a few days and even intentionally isolated himself to the point i got scared he died (he has a history of overdosing). So ever since this whole thing with his job went down i feel like he gives less than zero fucks about me.
The thing is i have severe fear of abandonment and his behavior right now triggers me. I can tell he’s trying but i still feel like he doesn’t have the energy to focus on our relationship right now. I have told him this and he just says “to be honest i just feel like laying in bed and not talking to anyone right now”. I even said it feels like he doesn’t like me anymore, even hates me and he said it’s not true.
Today i was sad because he didn’t feel enthusiastic at all, i said good morning with four heart emojis and he just said “goodmorning :3”. And also replied slow even though i saw him being active on whatsapp so i asked “who are you talking to right now”. He called me and said he’s making plans with a friend while also cleaning the apartment. I told him how i felt, like he didn’t care for our relationship and he said that i might need a hobby or hang out more with my friends, or make new friends because it’s unhealthy that my whole free time is only spent talking to him. This made me sad because he is the most important thing in my life and number one priority and i’m sad he doesn’t feel the same. He also said he doesn’t like it when i always assume the worst (fx that he hates me) and that it puts him in an uncomfortable position.
There was another incident last night where he, after he got home from work waited 1 hour to reply to my text so i called him and he just said he was talking to a coworker, buying cigarettes and that he also needed some alone time… and this has never happened before which is why I’m scared he is thinking of breaking up.
Idk i’m just scared he doesn’t want to be with me anymore and i don’t know if I’m overreacting