Meaning what's the point of having preferences in a partner, or even being the best version of yourself and putting in work to be a good partner, if people only fall in love for some indescribable reason?
"This person is really great – they have everything I'm looking for in a partner. they are a good person, they have good ambition, I'm ridiculously attracted to them, we get along really well, I feel really good with them – but I just don't love them." and also on the opposite – "This person is awful, they don't care about my needs or wants, they don't have a passion for life, they only care about themselves, we fight all the time and don't agree on almost anything, our physical connection isn't the best – and for some reason I just love them with every bone in my body".
it's like there's no point in even vetting someone to be a good partner anymore, or even being a good partner ourselves, because there's nothing we can do to actually be chosen.
Of course you should be who you are, and it's not right to pretend to be a good person or partner if the only motive is to get into a relationship. but it just all seems so pointless at this point.