All of my ex partners disliked the idea of me using toys, let alone together during sex, very much so I thought it's normal. My new BF though encourages me to use toys, be it alone or together with him (mouth, vagina, anal doesn't matter – it basically emulates a threesome with 2 dicks in me).
Not gonna lie I really love it. I'm just confused how it is not bugging him or making him jealous about "another dick" inside me lol
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Post title: New Partner wants to use / wants me to use toys during sex and it’s confusing me?
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All of my ex partners disliked the idea of me using toys, let alone together during sex, very much so I thought it’s normal. My new BF though *encourages* me to use toys, be it alone or together with him (mouth, vagina, anal doesn’t matter – it basically emulates a threesome with 2 dicks in me).
Not gonna lie I really love it. I’m just confused how it is not bugging him or making him jealous about “another dick” inside me lol
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With sexual maturity and confidence one can realize that while a toy can be mechanically / physically superior (a magic wand, or a huge dildo) they’re no substitute for a lover. Thus that makes the insecurity go away.
Because it’s just a toy and toys spice things up. Your exes were all insecure. Your new bf sounds fun. Explore and enjoy. Sex toys are totally normal and should be encouraged for play if you’re comfortable with it
Gee I never will understand how a toy could make a man jealous or insecure. It’s a tool for additional pleasure and not a contestant who stand in direct comparison.
Man up and accept that we are not the love machines that are able to catapult women into orgasm heaven within 2 minutes and just use whatever toy helps her to get there or improves sexy time for both.
Your previous boyfriends had low confidence and fragile masculinity. Your new boyfriend is a stud. Simple as that.
It’s perfectly normal to use sex toys in a relationship, with and without your partner. Honestly, it’s kind of a red flag if a man is jealous about their girlfriend using them, at least for me anyway. I would say communicate woth him, maybe tell him some of your experiences with that jealousy, and take it front there.
Your new boyfriend knows that toys are friends. And is not so insecure about a piece of rubber.
Any woman who’s had good sex with a man (no matter his size) knows that it out-beats a toy any day.
People have different interests. That’s all.
The question in my mind is why were your ex’s jealous of a piece of silicone, did they think so little of their dicks?
A toy isn’t “another dick.” It’s an inanimate object. It’s a tool to use when desired. I’ve never been intimidate by toys
Some men think of it as competition. The grown ones think of them as things to complement the act. Glad you moved up.
Why should it bother men? All this fuzz arond men having to be able to satisfy their women and then we have posts here that are like “he only wants PIV and I(f) cannot cum from it, is this normal?”
Of course it’s nice to lick your woman into extasis, but a lot of sex positions don’t stimulate the clitoris, so to get off you need to either use your hands, or he his, or a toy. As toys are really comfortable to use, why not take advantage of them?
I feel more like your man has a very healthy understanding of sexual pleasure. Good catch you made there…
The best part of having fun with a woman is there toys sex is sex we all no what to do with that but toys and sex it so much more fun and what the best part of it the more toys the better the fun is life to short in joy it
Secure men know that toys in the bedroom are a plus to bring their lady to new climax highs. What is there to be afraid of? A phallic piece of silicone? I want ALL those holes filled and only have 1 cock.
Because he’s not insecure as the other ones
Toys are tools, not completion anyone who says other wise is too insecure to admit
I had the same surprise when I dated someone who actually loved bringing toys into the mix. At first I thought it meant I wasn’t enough, but he explained it was about adding sensations, not replacing him. Once I relaxed into it, sex became way more fun and creative. Honestly it made me realize how much healthier it feels when a partner isn’t threatened by toys but excited to explore with me.
i’m a huge fan too if my wife wants to. enjoy.
Boys see toys as competition. Men see toys as tools
Well, toys are like a spice to the getting together to have sex. Enjoy your self and be safe.
the answer is that some men are not giant ego driven insecure babies!
My husband is the one who charges my sex toys and pulls them out to use on me. His goal is to give me as much pleasure as he can, and toys sometimes aid that goal. He’s not insecure and he recognizes a good tool when he sees one.
Because in most cases a sex toy is just an object that helps with sexual pleasure be it being used on a guy or girl .. some one has to do something with it to get the desired effect.
I also encourage toy usage cause one they are fun.. two female sex toys have so much variety and styles how could you not wanna use them on your partner…
And you never know a simple toy session could spark a bring new kink no one knew about .. explore .. experience, experiment and have fun.. sex is supposed to be fun not a task, or a chore..
But it’s not another dick, is it? It’s a toy. New man isnt insecure like the previous guys.
sex toys aren’t the enemy, or competition. they are our allies.
your new guy understands this. you’ve upgraded. congrats.
Some men understand that our dicks aren’t magic wands. We can’t magically make you orgasm. The ones that do, understand why women would want to use toys, and encourage it. Most men don’t.
It’s the best way to live out a fantasy without the risk of blowing up the relationship. I think it’s hot as well. I love filling my wife’s holes to put it bluntly lol. The thought of a threesome is a fun thought. I’m jot sure the reality of that would be good though.
Once that genie is out of the bottle there’s no putting it back. So using toys gives a portion of that fantasy without finding out, after fucking around.
Sleeves are also a lot of fun. I put one on and it’s line she gets to fuck somebody else, but not. We’ve had a lot of fun with them and I’ve even ordered another one.
Good that you finally found a grown-up partner.
Guys who are against it are insecure.
Personally I love to watch when women masturbate with or without toys. Mutual masterbation with toys. I love to use toys on woman during oral, PIV, anal…
I love it for my own pleasure and I love it when woman is enjoying herself too.
The only time when I dont want my partner to useing her toy is when we are doing a certain position, and that’s only because the toy gets in the way, and I end up feeling like my Balls are getting stabbed.
The partner you have cares about your pleasure and aims to have fun. This seems like a healthy, fun relationship. It also helps us depending on how it’s used.
I have been thinking about getting a new toy for my and my partner because she deserves to have access to the toy even in that position. Maybe a ring will be best for that position.
So long as you two communicate and properly communicate, (no yelling, ignoring, trying to talk over one another, writing stuff down to remember or whatever isn’t a 1 person talks about this 1 person listed about this) as long as you do that, doesn’t seam like he will forget about your needs/wants as well.
Because people who are secure in who they are understand that toys are just there to give a new type of experience or sensation to your partner because sex is more than just « put genital into other genital »
Your previous partners were just insecure congrats on finding a mature person who has fun with you!!!!!
Myself and my SO love using a variety of toys and doing different role play sessions including 3somes etc.. we believe they add a different dynamic and much more fulfilling scope to both our sex lives and emotional connection.
Let me explain from a males perspective.
Men who have hang ups about toys (especially dildos) typically suffer from 3 things.
1: insecurity about performance or size.
2: fear of competition in the bedroom (she will prefer the toy or the orgasms it gives)
3: fear that their partner desires more than one partner or what they can offer on their own.
From a pro-toy perspective.
1: I accept that no matter what, my partners capacity for extended play and orgasms far outstretches my own.. biological, the fact is that many women (my SO included who can easily top 10-20 in a session) can simply orgasm many more times and with more frequency than my physical limitations will allow..2-3 times. The use of toys means that when I have come, the interlude between be an be filled with more play for her, be that by herself whilst I watch, or by me. There is no real reason why her arousal should have to take a back seat whilst I am recovering between erections.
When it comes to dildo/vibe size, we have a range from small bullet for very direct stimulation, up to a decent 8+” lifelike suction dildo with a good girth. I am just above average (as I understand it) at 6.5” the different dildos come in at different times either for her own use or together when we do general play or even role play with blind fold etc.. personally I have no issue with her using a toy thats bigger than me and I actually love using it on her… many women have big cock fantasies, and let’s face it, the orgasms she has when being completely filled are very different to those she has with me… different, not ‘better’ as in real life though.. there are limitations with big cocks/dildos and there is some ‘restraint’ required.. if i /she really want to go to town, then the more modest size comes out…
2:Women can orgasm in many different ways, and at different intensities dependent on the nature and type of stimulation, toys simply allow greater flexibility, especially in terms of external stimulation… wands for example are quite frankly an eye opener if you have never used one.. not just for direct stimulation but also when used across the whole body and erogenous zones.. once a man gets over the ‘fear’ of competition and embraces all those ‘different’ ways she can come it gives you much more breathing space to simply enjoying giving her pleasure ‘without’ the need to have a constant hard-on.. women will most doubt agree though that nothing really compares to a full orgasm with thier partners cock throbbing inside them no matter the size.. that is on a whole other level of pleasure and intimacy.
3: unspoken / unrealised desires and fantasies can often lead to unhappiness in relationships, especially where one partner has needs or has a sex drive that stretches beyond what a thier single partner can deliver physically through no fault of thier own… he may only have one cock, but she may desire to play with or take 2 at the same time, or as mentioned, ‘occasionally’ get that full feeling that only a larger toy can offer… toys ‘allow’ the unresolved pressure of those fantasies to be released and played out within the safety of the core relationship.
In some cases toys may allow experimentation/role play ’prior’ to attempting something in the real world…. In short, if the partner can’t handle the deep full body trembling orgasm that a larger dildo ‘can’ offer and the arousalnin her that it may bring, how would he cope in a real life 3some situation where the other guy actually is bigger?…
You might say that toys would ‘encourage’ her to look beyond you ..
The reality is however that the desire and fantasies may already be there but dwelling and building over time… to fear and try to ignore those desires is possibly the worst thing you can do to your partner especially long term.. its actually far better that you talk, get those desires out in the open for you to investigate as a ‘team’ and possibly utilise to make your sex life even more fulfilling. As with any fear… the only way to beat it is to face and embrace it.
Ultimately toys offer nearly endless potential gains for any relationship with next to no risk…they also encourage more open discussion, experimentation and fulfilment. Ie – fun
My honest advice… embrace the fact you have a partner so confident in thier own sexuality that they don’t feel threatened or insecure, and also consider it a bonus if they look on toys as not just something for you to play together with, but also any time your schedules don’t align but you still want to have some fun time…:-)
Hopefully my SO may pop in with her thoughts..:-)
It’s every other guy, not him. He’s normal.
It’s so much fun to have your partner use toys with you. It’s like sharing without sharing. It’s fun and safe. It’s a kink that doesn’t leave your own privacy of your bedroom. Enjoy it.
Many guys have the wrong idea that toys are competition. They are afraid of being replaced. Others have learned the truth,that toys are team mates and are happy that they can help bring their partner even more physical pleasure.
Dude gears up like Batman so he can be a superhero in bed and you wonder why? Smart apes use tools.
It’s pretty lame to be jealous of an inanimate object anyways. It speaks to his own self confidence that he’s not threatened by a toy.
I’m gonna go out on a limb and say ots because he isn’t insecure and wants you to come a lot 🫶 good man.
Your new bf actually cares about your pleasure.
Congratulations on finding a normal boyfriend with a healthy attitude towards sex
Your prior bfs felt inadequate or insecure,and he understands that he just wants his woman to feel good and that there’s a variety of ways to do that