So for some context I am emotionally the type of person to get to know them before I sleep with them. Ive only been with one other person before and that was my ex girlfriend and a car hookup once where i got a girl off by going down on her. This new girl comes along and we hit it off immediately. However for my liking it may have moved a little too quickly and we ended up sleeping with each other sooner than I would usually like.
Now onto the tricky part. I like to take my time with someone really get into foreplay and enjoy the moment. We were making out and things were going pretty well and as I was getting ready to go down on her she freaked out and questioned it I was about to give her head. I was really taken back because I really enjoy giving head and fingering someone. I know where and how to pleasure the clit and hit the g spot so I felt a little confident in that. I love to give pleasure and she seemed disgusted by it. Which is totally fine she likes what she likes. We get past that and it was only missionary and very very vanilla. I know she has been with a few sexual partners before and is more experienced than me.
Fast forward a couple months and now we are talking and moving into the potential dating territory. I really like her and I know she likes me which is great. Im going to make sure we move a lot slower this time but here is my only hold up.
She told her friend that I was “jackhammering” her. Now urban dictionary basically says she got no pleasure out of penetration. So this is where I ask the reddit community for help. I really want to pleasure her the best way I can. I know im inexperienced so I need a little advice. How do I make penetration more pleasurable and if possible how would I convince her to let me at-least finger or go down on her (i don't want to push her limits this is in a Respectful way) If any females had some input on how to help out the situation that would be super appreciated.