So, my girlfriend & I have been sexual for the last 7 months. She's doesn't have very high libido. She has never masturbated, like ever. She's only been with 2 guys, and she's never Orgasmed. She feels horny, she gets very wet, she enjoys neck kisses, not at all sensitive nipples, she likes getting eaten out but it doesn't do much for her, her clit isn't much sensitive either as nothing really does it for her. She enjoys penetraion, but she doesn't lead to an orgasm.

Ive tried using toys a few times, but that left her completely desensitised. I feel really weird about it as I've tried a lot to make her cum, to try to communicate with her (which she is not very good at)

What do you think is happening here?
Where do I need to go from here?
And how do I get there?
Please share some advice, id really appreciate it.


6 comments

  1. Hi there /u/Suitable-Formal244

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    Post title: My Girlfriend has never explored herself (at all), and now she can’t orgasm. What can I do?

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    So, my girlfriend & I have been sexual for the last 7 months. She’s doesn’t have very high libido. She has never masturbated, like ever. She’s only been with 2 guys, and she’s never Orgasmed. She feels horny, she gets very wet, she enjoys neck kisses, not at all sensitive nipples, she likes getting eaten out but it doesn’t do much for her, her clit isn’t much sensitive either as nothing really does it for her. She enjoys penetraion, but she doesn’t lead to an orgasm.

    Ive tried using toys a few times, but that left her completely desensitised. I feel really weird about it as I’ve tried a lot to make her cum, to try to communicate with her (which she is not very good at)

    What do you think is happening here?
    Where do I need to go from here?
    And how do I get there?
    Please share some advice, id really appreciate it.

    ***

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    *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/sex) if you have any questions or concerns.*

  2. Have you talked about this with her? Does she have the same opinions as you? Is she wanting to orgasm but can’t or is this just a conversation with yourself in your head that you have had? She may be perfectly fine with how things are. Sex enjoyment is a range and some people are perfectly fine with not finishing as they enjoy other aspects of being intimate.

    I would talk to her. If she is interested in trying to explore and feel more, she should explore her own body with what works and then share that information with you. You could also have an exploration session if she wants with you where you slowly explore her body trying different pressures and sensations and she puts a hand on you and squeezes when you do something that feels good.

  3. Is she on any medication? Some meds can lead to no orgasm. Have you tried PIV and clit stimulation simultaneously? It could be you have to be extremely soft and gentle for her to really focus on what’s going on. It could be performance anxiety as well, that she feels she NEEDS to have an orgasm to let you know she had a good time and it could be getting the best of her and not allowing herself to fully relax. If she really likes neck kisses, then start playing with her as you do and tease her a lot, try to let there be a build up of pleasure be the goal rather than making the orgasm the goal. When you eat her out , take into consideration if you have facial hair/stubble.. sometimes it causes more irritation and does more desensitizing than anything so focus on using your tongue/lips more. If she likes dirty talk then talk her through the pleasure. Definitely ask her to explore herself and to listen to her body.

  5. Would she be willing to watch porn with you? I remember my first orgasm was receiving oral sex while I watched porn. I was so turned on.

  6. You don’t get anywhere. SHE has to learn how to masturbate and make herself orgasm.

    This has been said a million times and if you search this sub you’ll find identical posts to yours with great advice.

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