What are the common characteristics do you see in a man who has never had a relationship? Is it awkwardness, bad personality, lack of physical attractiveness or being socially inept?
Some woman who have conversations with me can say i have never had a girlfriend and it makes me genuinely uncomfortable. Also i have heard people say if you do not find your partner you are basically left with “leftovers”. I have also seen people insulting others who never had a relationship claiming they must be misogynistic or whatever. What are your thoughts on that?
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I’ve never thought about this but I’m 34. I never cared about other people’s past relationshits
He cums in under a minute
I’m guessing that a lot of people are just loners who don’t want to spend a lot of their time investing in a relationship which is perfectly acceptable
I think they tend to be tense. And they try to be someone they’re not. Like forcing confidence or trying “too hard” to come off as funny or flirty or whatever. Thinking that they have to “ Impress” the woman. Where in fact they should just be chill and themselves and leave the rest to chemistry and fate I guess
So, I’ve gone on a few dates with men who have never had girlfriends or even really dated before. I’ve been the first date with several men. The main issues every time were that they didn’t know how to date, or interact with a woman.
These were all different men who had limited or almost no experience dating.
He went to the bar to get himself another drink, but didn’t ask if I wanted anything. Didn’t bring me back anything.
In another case, a guy got up to get water and only brought back one cup with a jug of water.
Unable to read the room, create or sense any build-up. Randomly put his head on my chest to “nuzzle” me.
Had poor boundaries with his friends. Interrupted our conversation multiple times to answer “important” text messages from his friends. He actually really liked me as well, so it wasn’t even disinterest. He just had co-dependence issues with his friends.
Wanted to pay separately. Not an issue, but my burger was only $12. He then ate my leftovers without asking me.
So uncomfortably awkward and nervous that he trembled and his voice shook. This is probably the biggest issue with these types of men. They’re not used to interacting with women like this, so they freak out. They overthink, stutter, sweat, and can’t relax. Sometimes they try to make jokes, and the jokes flop.
If my date is uncomfortable, I’m uncomfortable. The things above are just bad dates, but they’re bad because of a lack of experience with dating.
I’ve seen men with all these traits in happy relationships. I think the characteristic I see commonly in men who’ve never had a relationship is a lack of confidence/low self esteem. Luckily that is a changeable thing
Shy, insecure and/or socially awkward. Unrealistic standards.
I have seen that they act very much like children, because most of their experience is with their parents instead of partners. Not in terms of humor or silliness which would be fine, but in terms of how they value the person sitting in front of them. So they can treat their date more like a mother than a partner for example, expecting her to take care of him and his needs rather than seeing her as an equal? They might talk about themselves and not ask questions, forget to be courteous, leave messes everywhere and assume she will take care of it all for them.
The other thing I see is that they view women more as an object than a person. So they are trying very hard to impress her but not authentically or actually caring about her needs, just caring about what they can get from her. It’s more like they fetishize the person in front of them instead of seeing them for who they really are.
I don’t really think this is necessarily BECAUSE they haven’t dated people, I think it’s just correlated or the cause is the other way around. Someone with these traits is more likely to struggle to find relationships in the first place.
If you’ve never been in a relationship then I think the best thing to do is to work on yourself. How that looks is something only you can say. Even if it means you ” go dark ” for a year to do that then it will be worthwhile. I also think this might mean working on your appearance, go to the gym go to the barber go to a clothing store and have them help you. Invest in your looks and I do believe that pays off tremendously. I know that’s not what you exactly asked for but I think that this is information that could help.
If a man 30+ told me he’s never had a girlfriend, I’d wonder about two possibilities:
1. He has unrealistic standards about women and relationships. This isn’t Build-A-Bear, you don’t get to create your perfect woman who has your dream body, personality, hobbies, and communication style. I’ve personally known men who refuse to go out with any woman who isn’t a supermodel, and even then they pick apart her job, friends, sense of humor, etc. I’d be worried he’s hooked on manosphere content that tells him college-aged women will flock to him as he creeps closer to 40. Sure, a 21-year-old grifter might be into someone her father’s age, but it’s transactional. She wants his money. And by money, I don’t mean the $65k salary you’d make working IT. Reality is any healthy relationship will be with a regular woman around his own age.
2. He’s afraid of commitment. The amount of men 30+ I’ve met who are afraid to call someone their girlfriend is insane. Men who want a girlfriend on a wife’s salary; the benefits of a woman keeping your home, but without the security and protection that legal marriage brings. The older he gets being single, the more I’m wondering if it’s a choice.
These are my opinions as a 28/F who dates men 30-35.
Men who are TOO interested, I know it sounds counter intuitive but most girls like to feel
Like they worked
For it
He makes sexual allusions/jokes to quickly, out of the blue, when you didnt give the vibe that your ok with that. For me it means that he is just horny and since he hasn’t talked much to women, he does not know he is not supposed to act that way.
Another one is when he does not treat women like a man is supposed to like holding the door for women or, which is worse, he is crude towards women and treats them like he would treat his buddies.
Socially awkward is the biggest thing I notice. They tend to dominate the convo with things that don’t resonate or lead to a conversation. It’s more like being ranted at. Also, being referred to as ‘leftovers’ will make any sane woman run the other way. Im not takeout from two days ago, I’m a whole person who has had a whole host of experiences. I will never be with a person who refers to me as an object, full stop.