I didn’t intend to. But my best friend in high school was also a member of the same Mormon church I attended with my foster parents.
When I escaped from the church and the foster family at 19, she stayed behind… and Mormon culture kind of required her to cut off contact with me.
Hope she’s doing well. I’ve Facebook stalked her and she’s still in the church.
We were friends for 25 years. Told her something in confidence only to find out she told other people what i told her. I knew then i couldn’t trust her & distanced myself from her
She got distant cuz she got a bf
Selfish and self-absorbed. No consideration for others.
She became totally negative harping on the same things over and over I mean for many years! Finally, I just couldn’t take it anymore.
we 4 of us were roommates and I guess me and 1 other had a crush on our neighbor, which I didnt even know or expect because the other two were trying to help set me up with him, and when we started dating she got all upset about it and called me a snake when I literally had no idea, and I guess she thought she was the one they were helping get w him.
Anyway, were married with 2 kids and we haven’t really talked in years.
My mom died and told her the funeral was private and didn’t want a lot of people there and she invited a bunch of people anyway.
Claimed she did it to be supportive and could not understand that she just did not listen or honor my request.
She asked me why I still have my pride flags up post-June
She befriended a person from my husbands past and had our kids hang out without telling me, stayed friends with someone that betrayed me and befriended a high school bully of mine. Didn’t really feel safe or comfortable anymore.
She became an alcoholic :/
I’m not exactly sure why. It wasn’t dramatic, it was even somewhat mutual, but god I miss her. She knew all my secrets, she was the only one who never judged me, we helped each other through so much. And now, 5 years later, I don’t think we’d recognize each other anymore. Even if we reconcile, it will never be like it was in college. She was my everything then
She was too controlling and bossy. I don’t get on well with people who do the “if you aren’t exactly like me in every way you’re wrong” thing
Trust issues and chronically making dangerous choices
i introduced her to a male friend of mine and they started dating. he broke up with her about four months later when she started falling in love with him and he didn’t feel the same way and realized he likely never would. she was extremely hurt (understandable), but she didn’t want me to be friends with him anymore (less understandable). our friendship lasted another six months before things imploded. i became resentful of her for wanting me to choose her over him, and she was resentful that I hadn’t cut him out
we were 21/22 and had been best friends for ten years. i wish I had handled things differently — I had said some unkind things about her behind her back and I regret that immensely. but another ten years have passed since, and I think it was for the best that we ended our friendship. i do hope she’s doing well, but I have no interest in reaching out to her again
i am still friends with her ex, lol
She said I couldn’t talk about my dad dying because she “works with kids and needs to be upbeat all the time, something that deep can affect her mood” Like oh you poor baby, how hard it must be to hear about *my* dad dying 🙄
Then she got mad at *me* for saying I was hurt by that. In the past she’s also said it was my fault a guy was harassing me, told me to kill myself “as a joke”, and just in general was never a good friend. She always acted like she was the wisest and most emotionally mature person on the planet too 😒
I was on the receiving end of a best friend break up. I was simultaneously going through a mental breakdown. I have no idea of what happened or why she stopped wanting to be my friend. Apparently, around the time that she was distancing herself from me, she said awful things about me. It has taken me a long time to get over the end of this friendship because I feel very much in the dark about it.
At the end of the day, people grow apart and no one owes me their friendship for any reason. I wish her well and hope her life is fulfilling and beautiful in all the ways she hopes and dreams. I am eternally grateful to her, because without her, I wouldn’t have had many of my favorite memories and experiences. I wouldn’t have become the woman I am. I wouldn’t have met my best friend (our former roommate). Most of all, I would have never met my husband. It was a great friendship while it lasted.
He distanced himself because his father was harassing me and I told him and he did not believe me. 😭😭😭
We were in our mid 20s. She broke up with her boyfriend whom she dated for almost a decade, since high school, and within 6 months met some other guy, dated him for a few months and agreed to marry him. This felt to me like it was so out of character, that she was making a mistake, I couldn’t be happy for her. I tried, we talked a lot about it, I tried to see her perspective, but I honestly just couldn’t. She was all practical about it — “we are not getting any younger, it’s time to start a family, I don’t want to lose any more time”, and I believed in love. Plus I didn’t like her new fiancé, I thought she deserved better. And when she agreed to marry him and asked me to be her maid of honor, I couldn’t. And I told her that I couldn’t participate in that, and we had a fight, of course. She was offended and heartbroken. And this was 10 years ago, we haven’t spoken ever since. I once stumbled upon her on social media, according to photos on her profile, she is still married to that guy and they have a son. I am glad it worked out, and yet I never regretted what I did. It was hard, but pretending to be happy for her was harder
She was my bestie of 10 years, beginning in college. She had been resenting me for two years about something I didn’t do at her wedding that I didn’t know she wanted me to do. Over the years, we hung out and texted and I had no idea she was upset with me. She eventually snapped and told me about it (as well as some mean things that I know aren’t true about me, so I think it was projection). I decided that I didn’t want a friend who would rather resent me than confront me when I disappoint her.
She became distant with me reason so I started doing the same because I was also avoidant. However realized that she was probably someone jealous friend. However I apologized for my actions on cutting her off abruptly and we are chill now
We had been drifting apart for a few years, seeing each other a lot less than we had before because…life. Months would pass and she would spend our entire “catch-up” ranting and complaining about the same things she’d been ranting and complaining about the last time we’d seen each other. No effort to do anything about any of it, and she never bothered to ask how I was doing. She would also get extremely jealous of me spending time with other friends. I cut things off when I realized how much I dreaded seeing her.
We were heading in different directions with our emotional abilities. I have 8 years of therapy and a lot of self reflection and work behind me. She has just refused to ever go to therapy and it started to become an issue in how she would navigate things with me.
She just became really short sighted and not a lot of room for understanding and had a lot of black and white thinking which made it hard for me to have any space for complicated emotions during a very complicated break up. I felt like I couldn’t be honest with her without her having a very narrow minded perspective. And she had a pattern of always being in some kind of distress or conflict and needing a lot of emotional care and support but had no ability to return any of it.
It was not an abrupt thing, but I just realized I was always the one putting in the effort, doing things for her and trying to keep the friendship alive. Not that she wouldn’t show any interest, but it was just disproportionate. I started putting on some distance, and she just let it die as well.
I was also ‘broken up with’ by a close friend (not sure I’d say we were best friends). She went abroad for a few months to study, and we kept some but not much contact during this period. When she came back, she just started being super short and cutting me out (but would still treat others the same as before). I never knew for sure why. I still think about this sometimes, but I guess in the end we were just very different people.
Long story short, she freaked out because I was too busy to be her free therapist anymore. Basically, she would monopolise any time we were talking or hanging out and she would complain about her life for HOURS (refusing to talk about anything else). It got to the point where I didn’t have half a day free to listen to her (I barely had time to eat and sleep), and I communicated this to her, but she still seemed to think I should prioritise her over my own life.
She tried to back track after all the nasty things she said to me during those final messages, but I was well and truly out the door. We’d been such good friends, until she revealed what an absolute piece of shit she is. I’m not even interested in repairing the friendship. 10 years down the drain because she thought she should be the most important thing in the world and couldn’t handle that she wasn’t for a few weeks.
Ironically, I owed her a bit of money and this was one of the things she freaked out about during the fight. I pointed out to her that I’d asked her how much I owed AT LEAST half a dozen times over the course of the past seven months and she’d told me she was too busy to figure out the total. So she was apparently allowed to be busy, but I wasn’t 🙄
She wasn’t able to admit where she did wrong. Tried to gaslight me (for real) and she’s a Virgo… Too inteligente… Turned the worst version of herself just to not take accountability. Tried to make me feel guilty for things I didn’t even had control of. I did apologize for the things I felt I did her wrong. But at the time she just wanted blood and keep her pristine image to herlself. I warned her I would let her talk to me like that. She continued. I just said I was open to talk about about whenever she was, but I wouldn’t allow her to talk to me like that. That was some deaths in our friend groups. She always tried to get closer : we should get some coffee. I would say yeas just not to get into the old confrontation, but never ment it since she was never willing to apologize. I’m not willing to keep engaging with someone to witch is more importante to be right. I was way no forgiving all theses years, puting things under the rug. And the first time I didn’t, she showed her true colores… Not the person that would like to solve things with a talk. So. We’re at that. We see which other front time to time. I’ve made some moves against my better judgement, she always refused because it was out of her Confort zone. It just is what it is. She doesn’t want to budge and neither do I.
I got tired of being last place to everyone and everything. I was only an option if she had nothing else going on. I tried to be a really good friend to her. I love her and I loved and supported her and all I wanted in return was for her to be a friend to me.
27 comments
I didn’t intend to. But my best friend in high school was also a member of the same Mormon church I attended with my foster parents.
When I escaped from the church and the foster family at 19, she stayed behind… and Mormon culture kind of required her to cut off contact with me.
Hope she’s doing well. I’ve Facebook stalked her and she’s still in the church.
We were friends for 25 years. Told her something in confidence only to find out she told other people what i told her. I knew then i couldn’t trust her & distanced myself from her
She got distant cuz she got a bf
Selfish and self-absorbed. No consideration for others.
She became totally negative harping on the same things over and over I mean for many years! Finally, I just couldn’t take it anymore.
we 4 of us were roommates and I guess me and 1 other had a crush on our neighbor, which I didnt even know or expect because the other two were trying to help set me up with him, and when we started dating she got all upset about it and called me a snake when I literally had no idea, and I guess she thought she was the one they were helping get w him.
Anyway, were married with 2 kids and we haven’t really talked in years.
My mom died and told her the funeral was private and didn’t want a lot of people there and she invited a bunch of people anyway.
Claimed she did it to be supportive and could not understand that she just did not listen or honor my request.
She asked me why I still have my pride flags up post-June
She befriended a person from my husbands past and had our kids hang out without telling me, stayed friends with someone that betrayed me and befriended a high school bully of mine. Didn’t really feel safe or comfortable anymore.
She became an alcoholic :/
I’m not exactly sure why. It wasn’t dramatic, it was even somewhat mutual, but god I miss her. She knew all my secrets, she was the only one who never judged me, we helped each other through so much. And now, 5 years later, I don’t think we’d recognize each other anymore. Even if we reconcile, it will never be like it was in college. She was my everything then
She was too controlling and bossy. I don’t get on well with people who do the “if you aren’t exactly like me in every way you’re wrong” thing
Trust issues and chronically making dangerous choices
i introduced her to a male friend of mine and they started dating. he broke up with her about four months later when she started falling in love with him and he didn’t feel the same way and realized he likely never would. she was extremely hurt (understandable), but she didn’t want me to be friends with him anymore (less understandable). our friendship lasted another six months before things imploded. i became resentful of her for wanting me to choose her over him, and she was resentful that I hadn’t cut him out
we were 21/22 and had been best friends for ten years. i wish I had handled things differently — I had said some unkind things about her behind her back and I regret that immensely. but another ten years have passed since, and I think it was for the best that we ended our friendship. i do hope she’s doing well, but I have no interest in reaching out to her again
i am still friends with her ex, lol
She said I couldn’t talk about my dad dying because she “works with kids and needs to be upbeat all the time, something that deep can affect her mood” Like oh you poor baby, how hard it must be to hear about *my* dad dying 🙄
Then she got mad at *me* for saying I was hurt by that. In the past she’s also said it was my fault a guy was harassing me, told me to kill myself “as a joke”, and just in general was never a good friend. She always acted like she was the wisest and most emotionally mature person on the planet too 😒
I was on the receiving end of a best friend break up. I was simultaneously going through a mental breakdown. I have no idea of what happened or why she stopped wanting to be my friend. Apparently, around the time that she was distancing herself from me, she said awful things about me. It has taken me a long time to get over the end of this friendship because I feel very much in the dark about it.
At the end of the day, people grow apart and no one owes me their friendship for any reason. I wish her well and hope her life is fulfilling and beautiful in all the ways she hopes and dreams. I am eternally grateful to her, because without her, I wouldn’t have had many of my favorite memories and experiences. I wouldn’t have become the woman I am. I wouldn’t have met my best friend (our former roommate). Most of all, I would have never met my husband. It was a great friendship while it lasted.
He distanced himself because his father was harassing me and I told him and he did not believe me. 😭😭😭
We were in our mid 20s. She broke up with her boyfriend whom she dated for almost a decade, since high school, and within 6 months met some other guy, dated him for a few months and agreed to marry him. This felt to me like it was so out of character, that she was making a mistake, I couldn’t be happy for her. I tried, we talked a lot about it, I tried to see her perspective, but I honestly just couldn’t. She was all practical about it — “we are not getting any younger, it’s time to start a family, I don’t want to lose any more time”, and I believed in love. Plus I didn’t like her new fiancé, I thought she deserved better. And when she agreed to marry him and asked me to be her maid of honor, I couldn’t. And I told her that I couldn’t participate in that, and we had a fight, of course. She was offended and heartbroken. And this was 10 years ago, we haven’t spoken ever since. I once stumbled upon her on social media, according to photos on her profile, she is still married to that guy and they have a son. I am glad it worked out, and yet I never regretted what I did. It was hard, but pretending to be happy for her was harder
She was my bestie of 10 years, beginning in college. She had been resenting me for two years about something I didn’t do at her wedding that I didn’t know she wanted me to do. Over the years, we hung out and texted and I had no idea she was upset with me. She eventually snapped and told me about it (as well as some mean things that I know aren’t true about me, so I think it was projection). I decided that I didn’t want a friend who would rather resent me than confront me when I disappoint her.
She became distant with me reason so I started doing the same because I was also avoidant. However realized that she was probably someone jealous friend. However I apologized for my actions on cutting her off abruptly and we are chill now
We had been drifting apart for a few years, seeing each other a lot less than we had before because…life. Months would pass and she would spend our entire “catch-up” ranting and complaining about the same things she’d been ranting and complaining about the last time we’d seen each other. No effort to do anything about any of it, and she never bothered to ask how I was doing. She would also get extremely jealous of me spending time with other friends. I cut things off when I realized how much I dreaded seeing her.
We were heading in different directions with our emotional abilities. I have 8 years of therapy and a lot of self reflection and work behind me. She has just refused to ever go to therapy and it started to become an issue in how she would navigate things with me.
She just became really short sighted and not a lot of room for understanding and had a lot of black and white thinking which made it hard for me to have any space for complicated emotions during a very complicated break up. I felt like I couldn’t be honest with her without her having a very narrow minded perspective. And she had a pattern of always being in some kind of distress or conflict and needing a lot of emotional care and support but had no ability to return any of it.
It was not an abrupt thing, but I just realized I was always the one putting in the effort, doing things for her and trying to keep the friendship alive. Not that she wouldn’t show any interest, but it was just disproportionate. I started putting on some distance, and she just let it die as well.
I was also ‘broken up with’ by a close friend (not sure I’d say we were best friends). She went abroad for a few months to study, and we kept some but not much contact during this period. When she came back, she just started being super short and cutting me out (but would still treat others the same as before). I never knew for sure why. I still think about this sometimes, but I guess in the end we were just very different people.
Long story short, she freaked out because I was too busy to be her free therapist anymore. Basically, she would monopolise any time we were talking or hanging out and she would complain about her life for HOURS (refusing to talk about anything else). It got to the point where I didn’t have half a day free to listen to her (I barely had time to eat and sleep), and I communicated this to her, but she still seemed to think I should prioritise her over my own life.
She tried to back track after all the nasty things she said to me during those final messages, but I was well and truly out the door. We’d been such good friends, until she revealed what an absolute piece of shit she is. I’m not even interested in repairing the friendship. 10 years down the drain because she thought she should be the most important thing in the world and couldn’t handle that she wasn’t for a few weeks.
Ironically, I owed her a bit of money and this was one of the things she freaked out about during the fight. I pointed out to her that I’d asked her how much I owed AT LEAST half a dozen times over the course of the past seven months and she’d told me she was too busy to figure out the total. So she was apparently allowed to be busy, but I wasn’t 🙄
She wasn’t able to admit where she did wrong. Tried to gaslight me (for real) and she’s a Virgo… Too inteligente… Turned the worst version of herself just to not take accountability. Tried to make me feel guilty for things I didn’t even had control of. I did apologize for the things I felt I did her wrong. But at the time she just wanted blood and keep her pristine image to herlself. I warned her I would let her talk to me like that. She continued. I just said I was open to talk about about whenever she was, but I wouldn’t allow her to talk to me like that. That was some deaths in our friend groups. She always tried to get closer : we should get some coffee. I would say yeas just not to get into the old confrontation, but never ment it since she was never willing to apologize. I’m not willing to keep engaging with someone to witch is more importante to be right. I was way no forgiving all theses years, puting things under the rug. And the first time I didn’t, she showed her true colores… Not the person that would like to solve things with a talk. So. We’re at that. We see which other front time to time. I’ve made some moves against my better judgement, she always refused because it was out of her Confort zone. It just is what it is. She doesn’t want to budge and neither do I.
I got tired of being last place to everyone and everything. I was only an option if she had nothing else going on. I tried to be a really good friend to her. I love her and I loved and supported her and all I wanted in return was for her to be a friend to me.
She got married and priorities changed