Not seeking medical advice, rather how to deal with it. I have been having issues with ED since past 8 months. Got my T-level checked, they were normal. I was supposed to have a follow up but couldn't go. I will go in a few weeks. But, I have been feeling down due to ED. No more morning erections, or during the day or night. Refractory period is now at least a week. I tried viagra and cialis through one of sites that advertise online, and do an online dr visit. Cialis didn't do anything. Viagra works, but gives me a headache. The erection feels odd. Not sure why.
How do you deal with the sadness that the days of spontaneous sex or jacking off are over?
32 comments
How much porn do you watch?
What dosing did you use for Cialis? taking it on demand or daily?
one way that seems relatively unknown is taking a low dose daily. at least for some people, that gives a lower key effect thats “always on” and is beneficial.
additionally theres at least one study that suggests that low dose is good for the heart.
Do you work out?
How’s your vitamin D intake?
Generally, I’ve found that taking vitamin D supplements + ZMA really help.
Plus being active. If I’m doing heavy leg days, I almost always end up with a boost.
Stop porn and jerking off and you’ll be back to normal in a few months
Are you thinking that your ED is physical or mental? Are you sure that your nighttime erections are gone? Maybe you’re just unaware? How’s your overall health? Do you live a healthy lifestyle? I understand you’re not seeing advice which is odd but hopefully you don’t mind answering these questions.
Been there, due to medication.
I found I needed to actually accept that “this is my life right now”, feel whatever way (honestly, feel your feels, not be ashamed). Then I found that i needed to bring in more interesting or fun shit, my hobbies, do more physical exerting work… Fill my time with good stuff. It doesn’t make it “OK”, you are allowed to miss that really fun/feel good stuff, but it’s a good way to make sure you don’t fixate on it.
Has your doctor checked your heart?
No porn, strength training, vitamin d (sunshine if possible), magnesium.
If you choose to just count yourself out, you will most likely become completely miserable. I wouldn’t highly suggest not doing that.
I’m going to say there’s a strong mental reason for this, based on the OPs past comments.
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explore pegging, erections unnecessary
Are you overweight or obese? If so you might be able to get those days back by shedding weight. If your blood pressure is high you could also look at sharply reducing your salt intake.
If you’re literally sad about this you have to see if making major lifestyle changes could be the answer for you. We understand that you asked not to receive medical advice but impotence is often a canary in the coal mine pointing to even more substantive underlying issues.
You mentioned that you saw a doctor and got your testosterone levels checked which is great but it doesn’t sound like you’ve seen a doctor specifically concerning your ED and how you may be able to reverse it. This is not just a normal part of being 45.
You don’t say anything about your general health but if you aren’t working out and aren’t in shape, start there. And while there can be physical issues, a lot of this can be more mental than physical. Stress levels and other stuff can have a negative effect.
You say you got your testosterone level checked and it was normal. But did they say normal, or normal for your age? There’s a difference because mid-40s is when testosterone levels naturally begin dropping more sharply. Look into Testosterone replacement therapy.
I’m quite a bit older than you, but I started TRT earlier this year — mainly for improved strength and motivation. But I was pleasantly surprised to find it has strong effects on sexual interest and erections.
Your body’s telling you something’s wrong. Deal with it by getting healthy.
I hope you’re working hout and not watching any porn. Porn is usually a big part of the problem. You shouldn’t be masturbating or watching any porn.
Focusing on general health usually helps in this area, but may not entirely fix it. Get to a health weight and blood pressure. Strength train. Vitamin D supps. Quit porn and choking the chicken altogether. Save those moments for actual intimacy. Under these circumstances, Cialis might actually work. If not, you still have Viagra if you can put up with the headaches.
The sadness is a test of mental fortitude… I also feel devastated, broken, less of a man. But there’s nowhere to go but forward. Trying to sleep well (difficult during depression), eating as healthy as possible, exercise regularly. That’s all we can do…
Are you on antidepressants? That’ll kill it stone dead
Might sound weird but trust me- start eating watermelon everyday. There’s a chemical in it that opens your veins and allows more blood flow. No joke, do this for 30 days and you’ll see a noticeable difference.
How is your libido? Do you still feel that fire when you see a sexy woman? (or man?)
For me (47m), my libido decreased steadily from my late 20s on. My sexual function gradually decreased too. I think I always had lower than normal T, so the natural decline from aging hit me harder, earlier. And then testicular cancer at 42 and losing a ball was the nail in the coffin. I didn’t feel anything anymore. I could literally fall asleep during a blow job, it was just boring. I felt like I had become asexual.
So for me it wasn’t the erections themselves, it was the entire libido component behind them.
Once I convinced my wife it wasn’t her fault, she was very supportive. Women are used to the idea of reproductive issues being medical issues that can be solved by a doctor. I got tested and my T was almost non existent, so I got put on T. My first doctor didn’t take it seriously so I had to switch doctors (for me, I felt like a male doctor was more likely to take my issues seriously). I could tell the T was working because I started to get morning wood again.
My current formulation is a troche that has testosterone, progesterone, and clomid. It has to be made at a compounding pharmacy.
I’ve also been working on intimacy and romance with my wife, spending more time with her, emphasizing physical contact, reading romance/smut books together, etc. It can be hard to rebuild intimacy after years of struggling.
And male sexuality is more complicated than we like to admit, there’s a huge psychological element. If you’re worried about performing, you can’t be “in the moment,” which means you can’t perform… it’s a vicious cycle that only gets worse the longer it goes on.
So having a partner who doesn’t judge you and just having fun without expectations or disappointment is kind of key, and that takes a lot of communication and support. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t, you just have to move on to the next activity and not waste mental energy being hard on yourself.
We finally managed to have PIV sex after years, and it was amazing. But usually I can’t get it up enough, and we have to do handies or blow jobs. But now at least I can finish.
Maybe now that I’ve worked on my libido I can try cialis or something again, back when I tried before all I got was a headache.
If you’re on any heart medication or depression, meds, or anything like that, that would definitely mess you up in the bed
I know you said no medical advice, that’s not really how I mean this – but I had similar struggles over the course of a few months in my mid 30s. It was very difficult but then I started working out regularly again, dropped that extra 30 lbs and started getting into endurance sport.
Guess what? At 41? My sex drive and hard ons, etc are back to what it was like at 25. Maybe better!
its not a terminal diagnosis lol. it doesnt just go away and never comes back. theres meds you can take, things you can improve, and generally mood, sleep, tons of things play a role. i would get your heart and blood pressure checked, make sure you drinking enough water, and dont stress about it. stress will make it worse and make you not want to engage in it. but seriously, stop looking at it like it died or something.
If Viagra is giving you a head ache try a half a dose
There is a lot of change associated with aging and loss of libido and for about 20-30% of people in their 40’s ED too. Spend some time reading about how your body is going to change as you move through your 40’s, 50′, and older so you aren’t surprised and adjust more quickly. Granted ED and loss of libido is a big thing, but there are other changes coming which can have a bigger impact than ED. For instance, I’d trade ED symptoms to be able to walk without pain in my feet. If you understand what’s coming you will have an easier time adjusting and making changes in your life to help accept those changes.
There must be a cause. Surely you need to find out what it is medically.
Some doctors say normal t levels are down around 2 or 300 which is normal for a geriatric.
My urologist keeps me around 600 where my endocrinologist said I was normal at 175.
Are you using porn? If so, the first step is to cut it out. You can get away with it in your 20s / early 30s when your libido is a bottomless pit, but once you start to feel the biological changes it has to go.
I was going through the same thing you are right now. I was also doing all the right things, working out, eating right, taking Cialis, bed by 930pm, testosterone levels normal, walking when the sun was out, and keeping my blood pressure under control. I was pretty down but then I tried using a CPAP and noticed that my erections became more frequent and stronger without the need for medications. Maybe try a sleep study and see what your physician is saying? Don’t give up!
What’s your height and weight? Do you know your body fat percentage?
How is your nutrition, hydration, and sleep?
I reject the assertion that we need to accept “the changes.”
I’m putting up a fight. Join me.