My wife (40f) and I (44m) have been together for 20 years. For our whole relationship my sex drive has been higher than hers, for this reason we have always met in the middle and compromised with how much sex we have. For us, scheduled sex nights work, our sex life is great, I've never had a complaint about it.
In the past year or so we have made more of an effort to have non sexual physical time together at night, on nights we do not have sex planned. This has been nice for both of us, time to talk a little bit and end the day.
This week a nice surprise happened, when saying goodnight on a non scheduled sex night my wife initiated sex. Then a few nights later on another unplanned night she initiated again. I know this may not seem wild to many but to suddenly have this happen after so many years together is very cool. Not to mention that our sex has recently become more wild, she has been more submissive. Our sex was definitely not vanilla previously but it has gone to another level.
Id like to take some credit for her change in behavior, I feel I have become calmer in every day life, and made her feel more emotionally safe. I don't feel any need to analyze with her why this is happening either.
Marriage really does get better and better if you have the right partner.