My husband’s very distant relatives moved to our country a few months ago. When they first got here, we helped them a lot — taking them to get a driver’s license, helping them find a car and a place to live, etc. I didn’t mind doing that at the time.
But ever since then, they’ve been trying to hang out with us regularly. Every couple of months they ask us to get together, and honestly, it’s too much for me. For context, I’m extremely introverted. I don’t hang out with people much at all — I have a few best friends that I might see once a year, and otherwise I just keep to myself and my immediate family. So the idea of hanging out with people I barely know (and my husband didn’t even know them before they came here) makes me really uncomfortable.
My husband keeps pushing for us to meet them, mostly because he wants our kids and their kids to play together. I told him if he wants to see them, he can go alone, but he doesn’t want that. He wants me to be involved too. From my perspective though, it’s not our responsibility to make their kids happy by providing playdates, and I don’t want to be forced into socializing when I genuinely don’t have the capacity for it.
I feel guilty, but also drained. Has anyone else been in a similar spot? How do you set boundaries when family (even very distant family) wants more of a relationship than you’re comfortable with?