So, here’s the situation: I’ve been dating this one girl for half a year now, and I absolutely adore her. Like, really adore her. However, we do have some small issues, and I’m wondering if anyone has advice on how I should continue behaving to make things work, because I truly believe she’s the girl I want to spend the rest of my life with.
Please don’t suggest that I talk to her about this, because I already have several times, and each time she gets scared and starts questioning whether we should keep seeing each other. When we’re together, everything is wonderful—we go for walks, talk, and the sex is the best I’ve ever had (and from what she says, it’s the same for her). We share a lot of activities we enjoy doing together, and so on. But it’s not all perfect, and that’s why I’m writing here.
In short, she doesn’t want to tell her family that she’s dating someone (except for her sister). The idea of living together terrifies her, and she says she doesn’t know when she’ll be ready because she’s afraid. Our time together lines up well because she also wants kids in future, just like me, but she’s absolutely scared of everything.
To be clear, I’m not pushing her on any of these things, but we have had a few conversations about such topics. My stance is that we should start living together and meet each other’s parents, because in my mind, that’s the next healthy step before having kids, taking out loans, and so on. What I can add is that I’m always the one initiating hanging out and going out, and that’s not a problem for me—she’s just the way she is, and that doesn’t bother me.
From what I’ve read online, she’s definitely an avoidant type of person, while I am a mix of secure and anxious attachment styles.
What I’m afraid of is that our relationship might cool off and turn into just occasional sex, which would get less and less frequent over time, and eventually we’d both say, “That’s it, there’s no point in continuing.”
Has anyone been in a similar situation? How did you handle it, how did it end, etc.? Just give me any information so I can fix this and create a real-life “and they lived happily ever after”?