Today is my last day not being British, how should I spend my day?
August 17, 2025
I am taking an oath of naturalisation tomorrow to officially become a Brit. What should I do today? Anything I can’t do legally after tomorrow?
34 comments
I think you should spend the day jumping queues and turning down cups of tea.
Also, comment on how nice the weather is.
Do not speak any English. Only communicate in another language, especially with people who only speak English. Adopt our LOUDER… BUT… SLOWER… method when possible.
Do something really illegal like make a cup of tea and then imediately pour it down the sink
Or pronounce Bottle of Water with all the “t”s in there
Find a queue and push in. Use a microwave to heat water for tea.
Start a queue while waiting for a pint at the pub. And then break a queue elsewhere.
From tomorrow, you’re expected to follow proper queue etiquette, or exile to Saint Helena it is for you.
Slag off the late Queen (current King and Queen don’t count because we’ve slagged them off for decades).
Call the UK “England”.
Make tea in a microwave.
Push into the front of a queue.
Push to the front of a queue.
Don’t apologise if someone bumps into you.
Microwave tea (careful, though this is illegal).
Go to London and talk to people on the tube.
Microwave some water and make tea with it. This is your last chance.
Stand in the supermarket biscuit aisle telling anyone who goes past that Jaffa cakes are clearly a biscuit, or they’d be shelved in the cake aisle. Criminal offence though, run if you see security.
Go the whole day without saying “sorry”.
Go to the pub
Make a fry up with curry sauce and salad! (Although I think thats a “war crime” everywhere) 😂
Congrats
Drive on the right side of the road
Queue jump, heat a cup of tea in the microwave, drive on the right, tell people you love their country, get a Gregg’s sausage roll, remove the pastry and just eat the sausage, smile at Londoners.
Get on a bus and don’t thank the bus driver for doing their job when you get off.
When the tea time alarm goes off, you are technically free to ignore it, though you may be questioned by an Inspector. From tomorrow, you will of course be legally bound to comply with it on every occasion.
I heard it is treason to put a stamp on upside down, I imagine you have to be a citizen to commit treason. Should I buy some stamps today?
When a driver has let you cross a road, make sure you do that little awkward run to get across said road as quick as you can and do a half heartedly hand up to say thank you.
Say that you’re not interested in talking about the weather, tea is over-rated, and that you couldn’t give a monkey’s about Greggs.
Say exactly what you mean and forget about people pleasing
While you still can
When the tea alarm goes off, ignore it
Then when you get dragged to court later in the week you can complain you’re getting sent to prison just for being a British these days
Go start a conversation with a stressed commuter on public transport.
Butcher the words Worcestershire, Gloucester, Bicester, pronounce Durham “Door-ham”.
Remain silent, and act slightly concerned when someone drops a glass or plate in the pub.
Try paying for a bottle of water with a €10/$10 note
Wear white socks pulled all the way up, with sandals.
Use an umbrella if it rains.
Go to the pub and order a drink knowing that the guy next to you has been waiting 5 minutes to be served.
From tomorrow when the bartender says “who’s next?” you have to legally point to that man and say “he was here before me mate”
If you’re American, spend the day telling Brits alllll about how your far removed ancestor is Irish or Scottish.
Have afternoon tea in either Devon or Cornwall, and put the jam and clotted cream on your scones, the wrong way. Also pronounce the word scone incorrectly.
Write a letter to your future British self. Mention the things you find strange (to you) in these isles. Open it in a couple of months or years time and find the strange things you have adopted as normal.
Spend the day asking British friends to answer the questions in the Citizenship Test.
Get in a lift, and face inwards away from the doors. Make eye contact with everyone in the lift.
EDITed for typo.
Depends on your nationality but today is your last chance to get some digs in re: teeth, knife crime, censorship, slavery, colonialism, stealing yet refusing to use spices and let’s see er James Corden.
Tomorrow that’s all your fault.
Use all the Americanisms you have, call lifts elevators, call the boot the trunk, and call taps fawcetts, and write lots of notes using the American spellings. After you take the oath of naturalisation you’ll be arrested for those crimes.
Get a dinghy and float about off great Yarmouth. Ensure you wear a fluorescent vest and look destitute.
See if you can troll Rupert Lowe
Express your admiration for the French and their culture.
Continue to be mindfully ignorant for the next 24 hours in thinking that the DFS Sale will end someday.
34 comments
I think you should spend the day jumping queues and turning down cups of tea.
Also, comment on how nice the weather is.
Do not speak any English. Only communicate in another language, especially with people who only speak English. Adopt our LOUDER… BUT… SLOWER… method when possible.
Do something really illegal like make a cup of tea and then imediately pour it down the sink
Or pronounce Bottle of Water with all the “t”s in there
Find a queue and push in. Use a microwave to heat water for tea.
Start a queue while waiting for a pint at the pub. And then break a queue elsewhere.
From tomorrow, you’re expected to follow proper queue etiquette, or exile to Saint Helena it is for you.
Slag off the late Queen (current King and Queen don’t count because we’ve slagged them off for decades).
Call the UK “England”.
Make tea in a microwave.
Push into the front of a queue.
Push to the front of a queue.
Don’t apologise if someone bumps into you.
Microwave tea (careful, though this is illegal).
Go to London and talk to people on the tube.
Microwave some water and make tea with it. This is your last chance.
Stand in the supermarket biscuit aisle telling anyone who goes past that Jaffa cakes are clearly a biscuit, or they’d be shelved in the cake aisle. Criminal offence though, run if you see security.
Go the whole day without saying “sorry”.
Go to the pub
Make a fry up with curry sauce and salad! (Although I think thats a “war crime” everywhere) 😂
Congrats
Drive on the right side of the road
Queue jump, heat a cup of tea in the microwave, drive on the right, tell people you love their country, get a Gregg’s sausage roll, remove the pastry and just eat the sausage, smile at Londoners.
Get on a bus and don’t thank the bus driver for doing their job when you get off.
When the tea time alarm goes off, you are technically free to ignore it, though you may be questioned by an Inspector. From tomorrow, you will of course be legally bound to comply with it on every occasion.
I heard it is treason to put a stamp on upside down, I imagine you have to be a citizen to commit treason. Should I buy some stamps today?
When a driver has let you cross a road, make sure you do that little awkward run to get across said road as quick as you can and do a half heartedly hand up to say thank you.
Say that you’re not interested in talking about the weather, tea is over-rated, and that you couldn’t give a monkey’s about Greggs.
Say exactly what you mean and forget about people pleasing
While you still can
When the tea alarm goes off, ignore it
Then when you get dragged to court later in the week you can complain you’re getting sent to prison just for being a British these days
Go start a conversation with a stressed commuter on public transport.
Butcher the words Worcestershire, Gloucester, Bicester, pronounce Durham “Door-ham”.
Remain silent, and act slightly concerned when someone drops a glass or plate in the pub.
Try paying for a bottle of water with a €10/$10 note
Wear white socks pulled all the way up, with sandals.
Use an umbrella if it rains.
Go to the pub and order a drink knowing that the guy next to you has been waiting 5 minutes to be served.
From tomorrow when the bartender says “who’s next?” you have to legally point to that man and say “he was here before me mate”
If you’re American, spend the day telling Brits alllll about how your far removed ancestor is Irish or Scottish.
Have afternoon tea in either Devon or Cornwall, and put the jam and clotted cream on your scones, the wrong way. Also pronounce the word scone incorrectly.
Write a letter to your future British self. Mention the things you find strange (to you) in these isles. Open it in a couple of months or years time and find the strange things you have adopted as normal.
Spend the day asking British friends to answer the questions in the Citizenship Test.
Get in a lift, and face inwards away from the doors. Make eye contact with everyone in the lift.
EDITed for typo.
Depends on your nationality but today is your last chance to get some digs in re: teeth, knife crime, censorship, slavery, colonialism, stealing yet refusing to use spices and let’s see er James Corden.
Tomorrow that’s all your fault.
Use all the Americanisms you have, call lifts elevators, call the boot the trunk, and call taps fawcetts, and write lots of notes using the American spellings. After you take the oath of naturalisation you’ll be arrested for those crimes.
Get a dinghy and float about off great Yarmouth. Ensure you wear a fluorescent vest and look destitute.
See if you can troll Rupert Lowe
Express your admiration for the French and their culture.
Continue to be mindfully ignorant for the next 24 hours in thinking that the DFS Sale will end someday.