How do you deal with jealous thoughts & overthinking in a relationship?
August 22, 2025
How do you deal with jealous thoughts & overthinking in a relationship?
15 comments
My favorite thing to have learned is that if my partner wants to be unfaithful they will — it says *nothing* about me and that’s okay. **Beyoncé** gets cheated on. **Rihanna** gets cheated on.
Basically, I don’t get to control other people and if they want to be cheaters they’ll cheat, regardless of me or what I do.
I dont
Cheating is a trauma – a betrayal so deep some get PTSD from so it’s completely normal to be cautious if not wary of your partner.
But unfortunately being in a committed relationship is like giving someone a gun and letting them point at you while hoping they won’t shoot you in the heart. Relationships bring so much good – but also risk.
Working on your trust in your partner while also communicating reasonable boundaries is what I persoanlly think works the best.
Communicate what you’re comfortable with. Ask mindful questions. If he’s talking about this girl at work don’t get mad from the start but inquire gently about her and see his reaction. Go spend time with his female friends from time to time if you can while also focusing on your own friends and family members.
Build a strong bond with your partner. Temptation will always be out there. There’s tons of people, and unfortunately tons of people who don’t care that a person has a partner or don’t know. While even building a strong bond doesn’t necessarily shield you from the chance of cheating it will be good for your relationship in general and will raise your trust.
Trust who you chose.
Even if it’s uncomfortable to trust for now.
[removed]
Love is respect. Respect is trust. If I can’t trust them then I don’t really love them and shouldn’t be with them.
If you really find you get jealous and have trust issues then you need to work on yourself. Whether it’s self help books, affirmations or therapy.
In my case I usually only have them in the beginning of a relationship. And I usually talk about it with them or I write it on a piece of paper, to not get stuck on the same thougts.
I have these standard affirmations for myself that help me see my worth in a relationship that I also apply in these situations.
[removed]
I used to overthink and not talk about it. Then I started talking, first to friends, then family, then eventually also to the subject of my overthinking, my boyfriend. I struggle sometimes with self-image, and my boyfriend has a low sex drive sometimes. Back when I was overthinking I was convinced his desire for sex was low because of me, how I looked. I really talked myself into a low point. When I finally had the courage I brought up the subject and he pretty much showered me in affirmations and promised me he would show me his love for me in different ways if he didn’t feel up to having sex. It still took some wait-and-see time, but he’s done what he promised. I was so anxious to bring it up, but that conversation increased my trust in our relationship and now we live together in near-perfect harmony. Just need to get us to agree on how to do stuff around the house 😛 We both do our part, just differently.
Wow.. this is a difficult one. If are in to that…it will be hard bot to do it.
Probably only therapy will help
Silently
It’s simple! Don’t do what I wouldn’t! If he does something I would not do, then I am done. It is that simple….
Be careful , projecting will be the relationship’s downfall of jealously. Over thinkers needs to communicate their feelings more until they are satisfied with the outcome. No need to bring up stuff/hash it out a billion times. Overly reassuring someone could also be exhausting.
Personally, I think those often are the result of feeling unstable in your relationship or unresolved hurts from the past. I would strongly recommend therapy to anyone who has these struggles. To help them decide if they are unwarranted thoughts and feelings, or something to trust your gut about.
This is so real. I think a big part of it is learning to trust yourself, not just your partner. You have to believe that you’ll be okay no matter what happens, and that gives you a lot more peace. It’s a journey, but practicing that self-assurance really helps quiet the noise.
I found someone who openly communicates and validates my feelings completely. This is my only relationship where I haven’t been jealous or overthinking.
15 comments
My favorite thing to have learned is that if my partner wants to be unfaithful they will — it says *nothing* about me and that’s okay. **Beyoncé** gets cheated on. **Rihanna** gets cheated on.
Basically, I don’t get to control other people and if they want to be cheaters they’ll cheat, regardless of me or what I do.
I dont
Cheating is a trauma – a betrayal so deep some get PTSD from so it’s completely normal to be cautious if not wary of your partner.
But unfortunately being in a committed relationship is like giving someone a gun and letting them point at you while hoping they won’t shoot you in the heart. Relationships bring so much good – but also risk.
Working on your trust in your partner while also communicating reasonable boundaries is what I persoanlly think works the best.
Communicate what you’re comfortable with. Ask mindful questions. If he’s talking about this girl at work don’t get mad from the start but inquire gently about her and see his reaction. Go spend time with his female friends from time to time if you can while also focusing on your own friends and family members.
Build a strong bond with your partner. Temptation will always be out there. There’s tons of people, and unfortunately tons of people who don’t care that a person has a partner or don’t know. While even building a strong bond doesn’t necessarily shield you from the chance of cheating it will be good for your relationship in general and will raise your trust.
Trust who you chose.
Even if it’s uncomfortable to trust for now.
[removed]
Love is respect. Respect is trust. If I can’t trust them then I don’t really love them and shouldn’t be with them.
If you really find you get jealous and have trust issues then you need to work on yourself. Whether it’s self help books, affirmations or therapy.
In my case I usually only have them in the beginning of a relationship. And I usually talk about it with them or I write it on a piece of paper, to not get stuck on the same thougts.
I have these standard affirmations for myself that help me see my worth in a relationship that I also apply in these situations.
[removed]
I used to overthink and not talk about it. Then I started talking, first to friends, then family, then eventually also to the subject of my overthinking, my boyfriend. I struggle sometimes with self-image, and my boyfriend has a low sex drive sometimes. Back when I was overthinking I was convinced his desire for sex was low because of me, how I looked. I really talked myself into a low point. When I finally had the courage I brought up the subject and he pretty much showered me in affirmations and promised me he would show me his love for me in different ways if he didn’t feel up to having sex. It still took some wait-and-see time, but he’s done what he promised. I was so anxious to bring it up, but that conversation increased my trust in our relationship and now we live together in near-perfect harmony. Just need to get us to agree on how to do stuff around the house 😛 We both do our part, just differently.
Wow.. this is a difficult one. If are in to that…it will be hard bot to do it.
Probably only therapy will help
Silently
It’s simple! Don’t do what I wouldn’t! If he does something I would not do, then I am done. It is that simple….
Be careful , projecting will be the relationship’s downfall of jealously. Over thinkers needs to communicate their feelings more until they are satisfied with the outcome. No need to bring up stuff/hash it out a billion times. Overly reassuring someone could also be exhausting.
Personally, I think those often are the result of feeling unstable in your relationship or unresolved hurts from the past. I would strongly recommend therapy to anyone who has these struggles. To help them decide if they are unwarranted thoughts and feelings, or something to trust your gut about.
This is so real. I think a big part of it is learning to trust yourself, not just your partner. You have to believe that you’ll be okay no matter what happens, and that gives you a lot more peace. It’s a journey, but practicing that self-assurance really helps quiet the noise.
I found someone who openly communicates and validates my feelings completely. This is my only relationship where I haven’t been jealous or overthinking.