My husband and I have been in the age old debate of “is it healthy to look at other women/porn” and it’s really caused a lot of problems in our marriage.
I’m in a pretty vulnerable point in my life after making it through a lot of medical problems over the last couple of years. My body has changed a lot and my relationship with my husband suffered during my journey because it was a lot for him to deal with. We are now having problems because we don’t agree on if it’s healthy to look at sexual content alone. I find it disrespectful and it gives me the ick a bit. Especially when these women could be his daughter. I also don’t think it’s healthy to hide away in the bathroom to look at someone that isn’t your spouse. I’ll also add that there’s been a couple of instances throughout our relationship where he’s lied about other women in real life. I don’t know if that has made me more sensitive about all of this, so just mentioning it.
That being said, we went to counseling yesterday. The guy was very laid back and I’m assuming just laying ground work (we didn’t go into anything on a deep level). His advice was “everyone looks at women. I watch porn myself. Your husband isn’t looking at these women because he wants them. He’s still with you and hasn’t left. We’re men.” I’m not even going to go into my opinions because the point is to get other points of view. Thoughts on this advice or lusting over others while married?