I (22m) and my gf (f19) have been having sex less and it makes me feel less desired. In the beginning we used to have sex every night and I feel like she used to get excited, but now I feel like she isn’t excited about sex and does it just to please me. She tries to reassure me and say she likes it and enjoys sex a lot, but recently we’ve been starting to have it only 1 or 2 times a week and I stress myself out because I worry it feels like a job to her.
I’m struggling a lot with feeling like she wants to have sex with me. I feel as though I initiate 99% of the time and I feel like what we do during sex is up to me. I enjoy our sex, but I want more feedback from her on what she likes. We’ve had trouble having her finish when we have sex but she tells me it isn’t a big problem for her, but she has no problem and finishing herself when masterbating. It got to the point where I told her I wanted to get a vibrator for her to try but she doesn’t want to use it, it’s like she just doesn’t wanna finish?
Whenever we do have sex we can only do missionary because it hurts to do other positions or she doesn’t like being on top. She’ll do handjobs and titty fucks, which I love, but I always tell her I wanted to hear what she wants and I never get a straight forward answer. I feel like I’m always trying to understand what she likes and sex is feeling one sided for me. She tells me the issue is sometimes living at home, but this wasn’t a problem in the past and I’m worried if we move out nothing will change.
We also have agreed to no porn use, so it’s either sex or no sex. I feel like I need it 3/4 a week and she’s 1/2 or less. I’ve asked her countless times what she wants and it’s always “I want to be with you”. How do I just stop feeling insecure and wanted sex all the time?