My (27F) fiancé (26M) and I got into an argument last night. We both had long days and were snapping at each other, but it hadn’t escalated into anything. I was watching lilo&stitch with my step son (5 yrs) and our daughter (6months) and I got up to wash her baby bottles. Fiancé came into the kitchen and said “are you still watching your movie” and I sighed and said “yes okay, I’m just doing dishes.”
Finished the dishes and walked out into the living room only to find my movie was off and Bluey was on. This was my final straw and I walked off to find Fiancé and said “are you serious? You asked me if I was still watching and I said yes!”
Then he exploded back and said “it’s a fucking movie you can change it back” and I got upset and said “you still could have told me you were changing it, this was the one thing I wanted today I just wanted to watch this dumb movie with my kids and relax” and we kept arguing back and forth and he rolled his eyes and said “whatever dude” and this pissed me off because he knows I hate it when he turns his back to me and says “whatever”
So on my way out of the kitchen I flipped him off. It was childish and stupid and I regret it today, but I was just so frustrated and he did the “whatever dude” thing and I was just reacting with emotion.
I went to go put our daughter down in her crib because she fell asleep, and he burst into the room yelling “get out of my house if you’re going to disrespect me like that”
And I told him to lower his voice or he’ll wake her up and he said “I don’t care! And she’s already awake”
She was startled awake from the door slamming open and his yelling
After that, I was just so upset at the whole situation that I said OK and I started packing up her diaper bag and her bottles and he looked at me and he said in this freakishly calm voice “you’re not going anywhere with my daughter”
I looked at him and I said “you work all day and I don’t want my six month old baby going to daycare or your parents house if we are splitting up I want to take her with me until we can figure out a 50-50 split schedule because I would rather be the one looking after her then some lady in a daycare or your mother.” Because quite frankly, I’m staring at her handy work so yeah I don’t want her raising my kid. I’m her mother and I don’t currently work, I just wanted to take her with me until we can sit down like adults and figure out a schedule. I told him to his face I wasn’t taking her from him, and that I think her mom should take care of her until we figure something out.
He said “ let me put it to you this way if you try to walk out that door with one of my kids, I will stop you with any means necessary.”
I started to get scared and I asked him “are you telling me you’re going to hurt me if I try to take my daughter to my parents house”
And he said “ if you force my hand.”
I got really scared, and I took my daughter into the nursery and shut the door, and I took the diaper bag with me because it was already on my shoulder and he came sprinting after me and threw the door open and screamed in my face, shaking his hands in front of me like he was gonna strangle me and screamed “YOURE NOT LEAVING THIS HOUSE WITH MY BABY”
I was crying in the corner, holding her to my chest
He never physically put his hands on me and I’m scared that if he calls the police, they’ll take her from me because his last name is on her birth certificate
For anyone who’s going to say, “why did you have a kid with him” or anything like that, He did not act this way before. He’s never even come close to acting like he was gonna put his hands on me, and I was so shocked and terrified last night. I mean, yeah flipping him off was childish and I regret it, but I didn’t think it would warrant this. I thought we were both just pissed off and snapping at each other because we had a bad day and usually when that happens, we go to bed and we wake up and we apologize to each other
I know everyone says “they’re usually so nice” and all that but this is truly the first time an argument has turned threateningly physical. Usually we both get heated and childish and then we go to bed and cool off and apologize to each other the next day and everything’s good. I’m so shocked and I never ever saw this coming, having such a hard time processing that it was real and not a nightmare
Please somebody tell me does he have the ability to take her away from me? We don’t have any nanny cams I don’t have any proof that he did this other than the 5year old who heard it, but I’m so scared He’s gonna take her from me
LOCATION EDIT: I live in Maryland in the US, trying to research custody laws for out specific state
EDIT: thank you for the advice so far, because I have his son and can’t feasibly leave the house today, I’m going to sit down and confront him later with my phone hidden and recording. I’m going to bring up the fact that he almost put his hands on me while I was holding her and he threatened force if I left the house. I couldn’t get his screaming recorded last night but if I can get him to admit it today maybe that will help consulting with a lawyer.