We are both young but she has been with 4 people and I have been with 1. Her sexual experiences haven't been the best I think but her most recent partner I believe was her best sexual experiences so far. I am very sexually insecure, i.e. nervous to take off my shirt, for her to touch my privates, for her to see me naked, et cetera. I am also nervous I won't be able to please her the first time since she sort of said something along the lines of not really having actually got off before until her ex, so it took 4 people for her to finally get someone who could get her off.
My ex was not able to do missionary really, but this girl told me her favorite is missionary, which makes me very scared as I basically have never had sex in that position before. I'm afraid of being seen as not good sexually, and I'm just nervous for her to touch me. She said she's fine waiting and in fact doesn't consider sex to be the biggest deal at the beginning which I appreciate but the problem is I don't really know what to do to get rid of my anxiety with this.
I have been going to the gym to try to build confidence with my body which I think will help. But I'm also nervous enough to where I can't get very hard as I just keep thinking about being judged and feeling like I'm ugly and her thinking I am small as I know she has been with people who have a large private area.
I wanted to give myself in my head maybe 1 or 2 months, but I guess I want some advice on what to work on with this. The relationship is new but I have known this person for forever, which also increases the anxiety. I'm not at a stage where I can have a "in-depth" conversation about this I think as I'm just nervous she will think lesser of me (I know she wouldn't though). Keep in mind she hasn't done anything like rushing me or judging me. I have these fears because of body shaming I had in my youth and just general insecurities with my body. Thank you for any advice. I guess my main issues are these: anxiety with taking off my shirt, feeling nervous enough to where I can't get an erection, and being nervous I will not be able to please her initially and the first impression that leaves.