and I need to feel desired. It’s been like this for 4-5 years with my partner.
We are both in our early 30’s and been together for 10 years with only a couple of rough patches (one we got through about a year ago) but we spring back and feel comfortable expressing what we need. However, our communication has fallen out and now I can’t time initiating anything physically affectionate that is received equally and get rejected for even the little things like hugs or cuddling. The routine of coming and going feels like it’s being forgotten which makes me feel forgotten and unwilling to talk about even the little inconveniences of life. My confidence that I am physically and mentally stimulating to them is dwindling as they only initiate 1/5 times and we only have sex once or twice a month or every two months.
I am working on my own mental health and setting better routines, but we’re busy people and the time we have to decompress turns into individual time for hobbies or doom scrolling. Which leads me to think I just inconvenience them with my wants or needs and they don’t even think about initiating anything with me. So now I feel undesirable.