I (37f) am the “plan maker” in our house of 5 people (2 adults and 3 kids ages 3-14). Every year I plan our anniversary date, any trips, date nights, birthdays, weekend trips. My husband (40m) refuses to partake in any planning. It’s exhausting, as I’m the primary earner and work hard every day not to mention my husband is gone 2 weeks at a time for work so I am dealing with parental responsibility alone half of the time.
This year I planned a particularly meaningful (and expensive, and logistically complex) vacation for our whole family. I asked my husband if he would please just plan something for our anniversary.
He did not. I am hurt and feel like my feelings don’t matter, also angry that he won’t take initiative. I’ve been begging him to just plan a date night for 8 years and it never happens. Am I crazy to feel this way? Do I just give up on being treated fairly?