This is gonna be a dumb post but I just don’t know how to make friends my age and it’s getting frustrating.
So basically, I’m almost 18f and I finished HS a year early (when I was 16) and so I’m going into me second year of college and I’m going a male dominated field so my class is mostly guys and my bf (19m) is kinda iffy about guy friends. I have a few and he’s okay with it but when it comes to making new friends it’s kinda iffy especially bc I do get hit in a lot (not be like that). So I’m not around many girls and idk how to go about it.
I have a few friends from before and I just started growing apart from them. My relationship has caused a bit of strain on my friendships. I used to come to them with everything and my bf and I have both been growing a lot and working on improving ourselves as we grow. We want to make our relationship work so I’ve learned not to go to people bc most of it is just strong feelings in the moment we’re I kinda spiral and think the worst. And my friends got to the point where they no longer support it. There’s never been any abuse in any form just kinda difference in opinion.
My best friend hasn’t been wanting to hang out and it’s been about 2 months since I last saw her. We both work and I was in school so I get that it may have been conflicts with our schedules but I feel like she’s been blowing me off. This has been really hard for me bc I have rlly bad abandonment issues, which I haven’t expressed to her only my bf.
I feel like my relationship is the reason which I acknowledge is my fault but I just want to have a group to hang out with or at least a friend. My bf has been really supportive pushing me to make plans but a lot of the time I get turned down. And he takes me with him to hang out with his friends but they all just sit in one guy’s car and I stay in my bf’s car bc they all smoking and isn’t a lot of space. Which I’m not against but it would be too cramped.
I feel like an outsider with them and I don’t know how to go about making friends. I follow a lot of local girls on instagram but I just have trouble starting and keeping conversations going bc I feel like they don’t want to keep it going based on responses.
What should I do? I know why my friendships strained, I’ve apologized and I’ve stopped bringing up problems.