I'll get straight to the point on this one. It seems I, 42m put all the effort into sex whilst she just lays there. We have been married for 10 years with 2 kids over the age of 5.
I do easily 50% of the housework, I cook, I clean, I work during the week and every other weekend my wife works so I take care of the kids Sat and Sun and take them to nearly all their afterschool activities on weekdays and also sports/birthday parties on weekends. Essentially what I'm saying is I'm very involved in my kids lives and do everything to maintain a functional household. She also is very involved with kids and family, so no complaints there as she also works 5 days a week. I have my own gym in the house and have been into fitness my whole adult life. I keep myself clean, self care etc. 5'11" 180lbs think lean athletic. Full head of hair if it matters lol, just making it known I'm not a fat slob eating cheetos and beer on the couch in my spare time. I earn over 6 figures in Satcoms industry.
The major problem I have is with my married sex life which I will outline all the issues I have below.
She never initiates or touches me down there voluntarily. I have maybe a 50% success rate when I try to initiate. But I dont always want sex, just to be close is sometimes all I need. She doesnt initiate hugging in bed either. We do have sex at least once or twice a week but it feels like she just allows it to happen and not really into it. She always is on her phone during foreplay and will finally put the phone down if we start to have sex. And when I start foreplay, it is always me going down on her, massaging her, basically kissing her all over. I could do this for over an hour as I have a solid sex drive. I will get her off almost always before we have sex. Often I'll get her off and she will say shes tired and says I can do you tomorrow its late. Then she may use some other excuse on the following days. It doesnt make sense that she is tired, I wake up an hour or two earlier than her everyday for work. I am not a selfish lover, just want her to actually be enthusiatic about wanting to make me happy.
How do I turn this around as I'm starting to resent her lack of effort. I suspect she just isnt attracted anymore, i don't get it, I'm in shape, committed to the family, eager to please, unselfish lover. Suggestions on what I can do is much appreciated.