A bit of a backstory, I (21f) met this guy (20m) on a dating app almost 3 months ago, and at first he seemed different and very sweet compared to everyone else I met. We grew “close” kinda quickly and started talking almost everyday. But he has made it very clear from the start he does not want a relationship. We hung out in public a few times and then the first time I saw him in private we had sex.
I feel like he’s only using me for sex and his own pleasure, but I can’t tell for sure. I have some pretty severe trauma from my last relationship, and I’ve been open about that. He’s been very respectful of those boundaries at least. But every time I see him now he’s always wanting to have sex or do anything like that with me. I’ve stated multiple times throughout that that I just wanted to relax and didn’t want to do anything sexual.
But he will keep talking about it/asking and bringing it up, and he will touch me in sexual ways so I feel like I have to appease him in a way. I feel bad cuz he always says for me to tell him if I don’t want something, and I always say I will and if i didn’t want to do something I’d be honest. But I’ve said I just wanna relax or I’m not in the mood or just not right now and he’ll say okay in the moment and then like 5 minutes later touch me again or ask.
Whenever we do have sex I act like I enjoy it (sometimes I do) but sometimes I just feel very pressured into doing it, because I feel like if I don’t he’ll get upset at me or ditch me. I feel like this is my fault and I kinda did this to myself. I know I can easily just leave him and move on, but idk if I should have a conversation about this first or if it’s my fault this happened and I’m feeling kinda bad about it. I feel like when he’s not in that mood he’s just not interested in me, it’s very hot and cold if that makes sense.
Basically what I’m asking is, did I bring this upon myself by not being more firm and direct? And is this worth having a conversation about or would it be better to just leave and end it?
TL;DR idk if I should leave this guy who I think(?) is using me for sex, and I can’t tell if him maybe pressuring me and me having sex when I don’t want to is my fault or not.