My wife (24F) and I (24M) have known each other since we were 13. We went to college together, got married, now we own a house. It's very apparent every day that she loves the hell out of me, but recently I don't know if I feel the same way I used to.
She will tell me all about her day or what's going on at work or the latest celebrity drama or a tiktok she saw and I listen and I hear her and I laugh and I respond.
I'll tell her about my day and the hilarious hijinx my students (I'm a teacher) get up to and how our books are going, I'll tell her about my comic books or whatever writing I'm working on and she's so engaged and listening and so excited.
We make breakfast and our lunches together every morning, have our coffees, hang out with our dog and cats, browse decorations for our house, watch some anime together, play games together.
It sounds perfect. To me it sounds perfect.
But I'm still not happy?
Since we moved into the house several months ago I've really noticed it. My patience has started to wear thin, I'm more bothered by her jokes, I take her criticisms way more personally, and it's starting to feel like everything we do is the same every single day.
Every day has the exact same morning routine, same conversations, we go to work, we text but they're sparse, we come home and make dinner and watch TV and go to bed.
Every. Single. Day.
I don't know if the relationship is the problem or if I'm just depressed by the monotony of everything or maybe I'm just not putting in enough effort. I don't know if something is wrong with me or if I should or shouldn't be happy. I feel so guilty for feeling so unsure.
What if everything is fine and I'm self sabotaging? Or what if I'm totally right and should break it off; how could either of us possibly cope with that many years of our lives being gone?
I have been wracking my brain for months to find these answers. I'm looking into therapists right now. In the meantime, Reddit please help?
TL;DR I'm unhappy in my marriage but don't know if its because of the marriage itself or not.