whenever I (19F) masturbate, I drench the bed, the floor, wherever i happen to be. (Yes I use towels, multiple). even if I go to the bathroom beforehand I still somehow have alot of fluid, it's almost a constant gush with every movement I make.
i don't even have to get close to orgasm to gush, it just happens multiple times while I'm building up to orgasm. sometimes it's little drips/spurts, and sometimes it feels like I'm straight up peeing with how much comes out. I swear I can drown a whole continent with how much fluid gushes out.
i know that there is a difference between squirt and pee. however I'm not sure wether I'm just a happy squirter/gusher or if I'm genuinely pissing myself and if there's a health concern. it always happens whenever I penetrate myself. i get that feeling of i need to pee, no matter the position, if I'm stimulating towards my pelvis or backwards, or even if I'm standing, sitting or laying down. even if I'm simulating the vaginal opening or the clit, it happens.
It feels kind of the same but not entirely. for me the feeling of needing to pee happens around towards the front near the clitoris, while the sensation of squirting or peeing during penetraition happens almost inside?????? if that makes any sense.
the few times I've been able to look at the fluid it didn’t look like pee, it looked a little cloudy but clear mostly. it has a very small trace of a urine smell at first, but it's not strong at all, sometimes you have to really concentrate to smell it. I know it's gross as hell but one time I left the towel I used outside to dry for a while and came back to smell it. beforehand it only smelt like a damp towel with a little bit of urine, afterwards it smelled like pure pee.
when it comes to exercises I sometimes do kegels without realising during the day. and after many years of being scared of school toilets I'm not bad at holding it in when I have to pee for a couple of hours.
overall I just want to know:
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is this is normal, am I actually squirting or peeing
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if it is squirt is the amount I gush out normal or at least something not to be concerned about
because if I'm being honest the sensation is quite pleasurable, and the mess isn't something I'm concerned about (even if it is a bit of a pain in the ass). I'm more so concerned of how MUCH fluid there is, if it's pee, and if this could be a problem/turn off with future partners. I've never had fun with anyone in bed before, so it hasn't been a concern. but I have been thinking of dumb scenarios lately. where a future boyfriend or girlfriend claims that I'm gross for something I can't control.
anyways it took me so long to post this because I've been too embarrassed to ask, I just hope that someone else could possibly relate or at least understand. thank you for reading ♡.