My wife and I are both in our mid-twenties. We’ve been together for three years, married for two, and we have a child who’s almost two years old. A couple of months ago, our marriage hit a really low point. We weren’t having sex, she stopped showing affection, and she didn’t seem to care much anymore. We both agreed that we weren’t happy, and I seriously considered separating.
She kept insisting that therapy might help, so I decided to give it a chance after returning from a work trip. But nothing changed—she was the same as when I left. We had our first therapy session today, and during it, she told the therapist that she doesn’t feel emotionally connected to me, and that when I try to show affection, it doesn’t make her feel anything.
After the session, we talked more. She said I don’t do anything “cute” anymore, and that our dates are always financial. The few that aren’t, she says, “don’t feel like dates.” I brought up the fact that she hasn’t planned anything for us in a long time, and her response was, “I don’t have any money,” because she’s a stay-at-home mom. But she has full access to our finances.
She went on to say that we’re constantly pointing fingers, that we’ll never be able to improve our relationship, and that we don’t even need to keep going to therapy.
Honestly, why agree to therapy if you’re ready to give up after the first session? I don’t know what to do anymore. I keep trying to fix things, but it feels like no matter what I do, it’s never enough—and nothing seems to get better.