In groups of 3 or more people, whether I know them or have just met them, I feel as though I can't always follow everything everyone is talking about. My brain absorbs one piece of information and makes thousands of different connections to that information, and I try to choose a response as fast as I can in what only feels like the "right" moment to speak up. But, by the time I speak up and say something I think is similar to the topic, I feel like it suddenly falls on deaf ears. It gets brushed passed. It makes me feel stupid, like I shouldn't have said anything at all. I ask people who know me well after social interactions if I seemed weird or dumb in the interactions, and they always say I don't seem weird, just kinda nervous. But I am not sure what I am doing wrong. I feel like I somewhat have an understanding of social cues, as best as I can, and yet it always feels like I never make a true connection with someone.
Am I just overthinking it, and I just need to learn to open up more and put my thoughts out there more, or is my body language off? As a 26-year-old old I feel like I've learned to slightly "dissociate" into almost "pretending" I'm acting like myself (if that makes any sense), but it's never my real, true self. I do have trouble with holding eye contact in conversation. But I try to make glances at the person I'm talking to. Sometimes I laugh when no one else laughs, just out of sheer uncomfortable silence in a discussion. I'm not sure at this point how to portray myself differently so people feel more comfortable talking to me one-on-one, though I do admit it's my problem because I get very uncomfortable when having a conversation with a new person face-to-face for more than a couple of minutes. It starts to feel like I'm trapped in a cage or something.