My son is 3 years old. He is mildly autistic. Can't talk, won't eat regular foods. Drinks water. Stuck on toddler formula since age 2 (8-9 Bottles a day). Pooping regularly. Can walk and run, make noises with his mouth, can communicate in his own way. Wife, who is a stay-at-home mother, WILL NOT put him in a program because she, "does not want to make him do anything he doesn't want to do." I have ZERO SAY in everything and ZERO CONTROL in how we raise him.
Today. I walked in the door from taking out the trash. And for some reason he started whining. I was just staring at him and saying hello in a nice tone with a smile. Of course he prefers his mother over me, I try to be clean shaven because beards scare him. I try to talk in a kind voice all the time. I am there at bath time, he laughs and has a great time with me. I love him so much.
She said, "Maybe you're scaring him…. you should go somewhere or downstairs until after his nap." She thinks me being around causes him to not take a nap because he thinks it's party time when dad is around. I also do chores or work too. I think she is not encouraging him to respect and love me. She has also not been as affectionate or intimate in 2 years. And I believe parents should be an example for their children. If she does not show him I am a priority, thus he won't see me as an important figure of the household. She thinks he will grow and chose his own way FOR EVERYTHING. She thinks for this autistic mind set – he needs to be happy at all times and making him do anything will regress his development.
She blames her hormonal imbalance for her unloving and rejection of me. I also cannot get her to take a day off so that I may bond with him alone. I feel like her influence dominates his preference and severs the bond we barely have.
I feel like she's pushing me away from having a relationship with my son. He also does not play like other kids. He will disorganize his toys and not "pretend" or focus on playing with one thing. She does not take him anywhere unless he wants to go. But how will he know to go somewhere IF HE DOES NOT KNOW WHAT IS OUT THERE??? I told her we need to introduce him to new things, and she said No. She turns on the TV for him and changes the YouTube channel when he wants it changed. Sometimes he will live for a bit with it off without a problem. Even took a bottle with it off. I feel I'm just a roommate to both of them who pays all the bills.
I am going out of my mind. She was my best friend, my soul mate, Now I just exist as a roommate. I feel nothing will change.