I hear pretty often about “checking out” nowadays, mostly from our side. Has it ever happened to you? If so, did you ever check back in?
10 comments
Therapy. Medication. Open communication. More dates.
I am personally struggling in my own relationship but we’ve both entered therapy. Things have been hard for me postpartum and relationships take work. I haven’t felt like putting it in but I want things to work out. I’m giving it til the end of the year to forgive our what to do.
Honestly, I’m there right now. I’m not actually sure what it’s going to take for me to check back in. Therapy, at the very least, and real change. Although—that also even might not be enough. Time will tell.
When I’ve checked out of a relationship, it’s been because I’ve already spent all the energy I had for it and am processing moving on to end the relationship. For me, there has never been a way back from that because I would have already tried everything I was willing to try before moving into that stage. Anything more at that point was always too little, too late.
I consider “checking out” to be that period of time between when you know it is over and when you actually end it. Realistically you’re not going to decide it’s over and break up immediately especially if you’re living together or married (or worse like a DV situation). It will take time to work through the logistics of leaving, and I think women in particular will feel more comfortable doing that before informing their partner of what’s going on.
With that being my definition, I don’t think there is any way to come back from that, I certainly couldn’t. Maybe my interpretation of “checking out” differs from other people though?
It depends on why you checked out, but making a mutual effort to create more good moments (going on dates, being intimate, etc) and couples therapy can be great ways to bring you closer together.
You check out if you dont love anymore. Yes, relationships are work, but it’s the easiest work in the world if you love each other.
I think it depends why you checked out. If it’s just a lull, you may need some couples counseling for help on reigniting the spark, dating each other again, etc. If you checked out because your partner broke your trust very seriously… I wouldn’t think there is genuine recovery from that.
Yes, I checked out after a few incidents where I felt my trust in him was broken due to a couple of different things. I was emotionally distancing myself in preparation for breaking up. However, when I actually went to end it, he was very remorseful and asked me for a chance to work on the issues.
I’m still feeling a bit on guard, but I’ve checked back in in the sense that we’ve both locked in on therapy and workbooks to resolve our issues and I’m not emotionally distanced now. I’m still a little wary and seeing how things go, but I forgave him for the initial things and am trying.
Yes I’ve checked out my last one. You couldn’t pay me to check back in. At this moment I’m being stalked/harassed online by him. The last thing I told him that he would regret his treatment toward me because im definitely one of the good ones and his ego got in the way of that. Now look at him, regretful admitting he is regretful and the things I’ve contributed to the relationship until I mentally checked out. Now he’s harassing me all socials creating new accounts. And I have a new bf. What a life.
10 comments
Therapy. Medication. Open communication. More dates.
I am personally struggling in my own relationship but we’ve both entered therapy. Things have been hard for me postpartum and relationships take work. I haven’t felt like putting it in but I want things to work out. I’m giving it til the end of the year to forgive our what to do.
Honestly, I’m there right now. I’m not actually sure what it’s going to take for me to check back in. Therapy, at the very least, and real change. Although—that also even might not be enough. Time will tell.
When I’ve checked out of a relationship, it’s been because I’ve already spent all the energy I had for it and am processing moving on to end the relationship. For me, there has never been a way back from that because I would have already tried everything I was willing to try before moving into that stage. Anything more at that point was always too little, too late.
I consider “checking out” to be that period of time between when you know it is over and when you actually end it. Realistically you’re not going to decide it’s over and break up immediately especially if you’re living together or married (or worse like a DV situation). It will take time to work through the logistics of leaving, and I think women in particular will feel more comfortable doing that before informing their partner of what’s going on.
With that being my definition, I don’t think there is any way to come back from that, I certainly couldn’t. Maybe my interpretation of “checking out” differs from other people though?
It depends on why you checked out, but making a mutual effort to create more good moments (going on dates, being intimate, etc) and couples therapy can be great ways to bring you closer together.
You check out if you dont love anymore. Yes, relationships are work, but it’s the easiest work in the world if you love each other.
I think it depends why you checked out. If it’s just a lull, you may need some couples counseling for help on reigniting the spark, dating each other again, etc. If you checked out because your partner broke your trust very seriously… I wouldn’t think there is genuine recovery from that.
Yes, I checked out after a few incidents where I felt my trust in him was broken due to a couple of different things. I was emotionally distancing myself in preparation for breaking up. However, when I actually went to end it, he was very remorseful and asked me for a chance to work on the issues.
I’m still feeling a bit on guard, but I’ve checked back in in the sense that we’ve both locked in on therapy and workbooks to resolve our issues and I’m not emotionally distanced now. I’m still a little wary and seeing how things go, but I forgave him for the initial things and am trying.
Yes I’ve checked out my last one. You couldn’t pay me to check back in. At this moment I’m being stalked/harassed online by him. The last thing I told him that he would regret his treatment toward me because im definitely one of the good ones and his ego got in the way of that. Now look at him, regretful admitting he is regretful and the things I’ve contributed to the relationship until I mentally checked out. Now he’s harassing me all socials creating new accounts. And I have a new bf. What a life.
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