Recently I went out with my ex SIL (just b/c my marriage ended, doesn't mean our friendship did) our nephew (from another family member)and his new girl friend, their 2 kids. And a few other people. Their children were, my nephew's son, and his friend who was this woman's son. I really never had any relationship with this nephew, as his mother had issues with me. He's in his late 30's, the last time I had seen him he was in diapers.
This was also my first time meeting my nephew's son. We live on opposite sides of the country. The kid is 10, and I don't remember ever seeing any 10 act like he did at the restaurant. (Running in a restaurant? No. Taking sugar packets out and stacking them? No. Pouring 10 packets of sugar into his coke, and the father just watched? Why? Playing with silverware and pretending to sword fight with the utensils? Take them away, please.) I would never say that a child has (special) needs. But in many cases (this being one of them) I wouldn't be surprised.
I had worked 28 years in special education in all levels. I taught. I did not diagnose. I worked with those who do diagnose. Now, semi retired, I enjoy the research aspect of it. SIL knows what I do, no one else there asked me.
From the get go, my nephew's g/f made it clear to everyone that her son was 'special needs' and that we all were expected to make concessions for him. This included, when the child tried to yank my chair out from underneath me, I was supposed to get up and give up my chair. If he wanted food off a plate, we weren't supposed to say anything as his hand reach out and grabbed it. The meal was, imo, a complete disaster. And this woman was unbearable.
Obviously, since she has a child with needs, she's an expert on all child rearing. She even went as far as quoting educational journals that she had seen.
Ironically, I worked in research for several of the articles she was (unfortunately) misquoting.
(For those who don't know, many articles in journals are written by several different people. These people will have people doing some research for them, they'll also have people proof reading and such. It is basically a group effort)
I sat there and watched this woman just acting like the expert. I could not get over the way she was allowing her child to behave, and my nephew's son was doing the same, and his father was not even reacting.
We couldn't leave there fast enough. Several of us decided to go out for an after dinner drink / dessert. When my nephews asked where we were going, we didn't tell him. We were all done with their antics.
We had plans to meet them the next day, and I'm debating on whether or not to tell nephew's g/f that she is seriously misquoting an article,and I know this because I was one of the main researchers on the project, so much so, that my name is on the article.