hello everyone. i’m 32f, gay, in a long term relationship. i’ve been having a lot of trouble with sex and intimacy for the last 4-5 years, and this feeling is a huge factor in that.
i love giving. i have no issues there. the problem arises when it comes to receive. my throat gets this feeling like an itch that feels like velcro, like it isn’t part of me and it is such an unwelcome feeling i don’t want to engage in sex at all. sometimes it feels like my vocal chords are itchy. sometimes it stretches into my chest and terminates at my diaphragm and feels like velcro being pulled, quickly and constantly, inside my chest and throat. it takes me right out of the situation and makes me on edge, anxious, and upset. it feels innately Wrong. the best way to describe it is velcro but it could also be described as rapid constant vibrations, like my esophagus is trying to move itself.
i cannot find anything online about this. it is a genuine struggle for me. it makes me feel broken in a curious way and i want to take myself apart sometimes to figure out why this feeling happens. i cannot stress enough how unsettling it feels.
does anyone have any similar experiences? any advice or insight into this feeling? is it a weird psychological thing? any help appreciated.