I hate society right now… I have gone through ebbs and flows with social groups, sometimes in the past being on top (a couple of times) and then being on the bottom. I have been, since the Pandemic on the bottom. Several of my good friends moved away (one to Canada) .
I have a long time partner of 15 years but he embraces hermitness honestly. (Despite having owned a metaphysical store for 12 years before we hooked up). As a couple we have struggled to have any social network and every time I think OH a new couple. new friends.. that always never manifests.
I work full time,after having a better work life balance during the pandemic. On top of it I Have become a "cat lady " (not hoarding cats but I Do take care of 15 rural cats from a colony).I have tried joining groups, taking classes ONLY to have them dismantle or end soon after I join.
I have a long commute, a lot of responsibilties that make it hard to find time to have a social group.
My online experieince (especially on Reddit) has been DISMAL. I can't even get anyone to respond to a post I made on getting feedback on a bloody car repair!!!.
I feel and wonder if I am in fact INVISIBLE. The reason also I say that is that certain events in my life (INcluding my father's funeral.. where I was LITERALLY overlooked when the minister asked folsk to pray for his brother and his mother.. but never mentioned me.. and I am an only child). I was not included even in my stepbrother's family photos .. never asked to stand with the family (This was after my mother passed away) and while I am not extremely closed I am not a stranger either and my stepfather and I were "close" .
Just on and on.. I probably won't even get any responses here. I am in a pretty low spot. I KNOW I KNOW.. people don't want to be around "Sad sacks" and "Depressed people" and "People who just feel sorry for themselves"
I have done a TON of work on my self esteem and mental health. Tons of therapy, spiritual work etc.. and I am worse off more than ever. I like to think I am pretty self aware (and indeed some folks do acknowledge that and that I am smart etc) but I don't come off as cocky or narcissitic.. in fact more teh opposite and perhaps TOO the other way..
I Don't know.. I am 57 and struggling though and I know that the world around me has gotten worse too so it isn't just ME.. it is society at large that is the problem. .but it sure sucks…
7 comments
Sorry to hear of this dry spell in your life. My answer is the Gospel, your local Catholic church, to make sense of life and suffering. May God bless you!
It sounds like you’re feeling incredibly lonely at the moment. With almost 6 decades under your belt I imagine this isn’t the first time you’ve felt invisible or lonely. How did you find your way out of those times, even if temporary?
From what you describe it seems like you already have a decent idea of how to build a social life, you’re just scared to prioritize it because it may validate your fear that you’re invisible. (You’re not.)
Working on a social network doesn’t have anything to do with your partner, but it does include prioritizing social things over others. The most important thing would be to find a place that you go to regularly. Over months you’ll build a community. For me, dancing has been transformative, but the activity doesn’t matter nearly as much as the consistency.
At 56, I am lucky to have a social spouse. She pulls me out. If she wasn’t around I would have to work hard to get out. I can only imagine what I would do to keep social. I figure it would have to become a regular somewhere with people my age. Park district has some good programs for all ages. That is where I would have to start. I don’t know where I would go from there.
You are absolutely right. You are definitely not the problem. It’s definitely got to do with the society at large people who have been using social media for almost a decade now. They are so rude and judgmental about every little thing that it’s hard to form a genuine bond with anyone except pets.
I’m not going to be much help but I’ll mention Reddit sucks for technical knowledge on car repair.
Im comparing to auto/moto forums. For other things it’s great. Just my .02. Don’t let that car repair question influence you. Wish I had something to really help you – all I have is that observation
How’s the car issue going?
Me too, and I like it that way.