What do you feel/think when a guy approaches you confidently and makes it clear(with an intentional tone)he is interested?
August 18, 2025
Context:social gathering such as church, campus or night out
40 comments
“Oh no” or some variation
I mean context is everything. There is no set answer for this.
As I’m currently in a relationship I would find it very inappropriate and uncomfortable.
If I was single then yeah, really depends where, how and who
Context is important.
Because if this happened in a quiet space or my office, hell no. If it happened in a bar, okay cool.
Also just coming up and saying “I’m interested” is pretty lame, it should be predicated by something that would actually warrant interest.
Someone doing that would make me feel very anxious. Not because I would automatically assume he meant any true harm, just I don’t like being approached by strangers in *any* capacity if I can help it (lots of social anxiety), and to have the added pressure of a complete stranger suddenly being interested in me sexually/romantically/whatever would be incredibly stressful. I prefer to be left alone by people who don’t know me.
Thankfully, as a married woman in my 40s who’s at home most of the time and when I do go out it’s usually just to do the shopping or take a walk (and I’m often with my husband), and who mostly dresses in hoodies and sweatpants… yeah, that’s not a thing that really happens much at all.
Escape!
I literally have no idea what to do in this situation. I would nope out as expediently as possible.
Probably anxious, I have a bf and I also have confrontation so it’d make me feel so uncomfortable and awkward trying to think of how to turn him down.
Honestly I would be somewhat exasperated, maybe a little flattered and impressed by his confidence, but it would be a hard no for me and I’d wish that this uncomfortable situation had never happened.
Depends somewhat on the location, occasion and time of day, but some version of “here we go again,” followed by an attempt to extricate myself from the situation.
Being approached in a club is not the same as being approached in the street or at work.
“Oh no”
Relieved that I don’t have to mind read his intentions.
I like the direct approach tbh. “Would you like a drink?” “Well alright then.” If you’re not interested you just politely decline. How are they supposed to communicate with you? Fans and elaborate dance moves?
Like randomly? I’d be scared! But if it’s someone I have talked already beforehand, I’d feel flattered I guess. Confidence is hot so it grabs my attention.
I’d probably freak out and not know what to say. That’s usually my response. I like the direct approach but I’m the worst at expressing how I feel. I’ve never known when a guy likes me. I’ve suspected but didn’t want to shoot my shot due to fear of rejection.
I have been enthusiastically approached and it completely turns me off of the idea. Some people like to be wanted, but I don’t appreciate being thought of in that way so overtly. I do appreciate a level of confidence but it depends if it’s also cocky/pushy confidence.
It took me a few weeks to pick up signals from the person I’m “dating” now, and me initiating a meet up, but I much prefer that. Far less intimidating which is the last thing I want to feel from a man lol
I panic a little. I will also say it’s not always because it’s unwelcome.
If I’m interested then I love it. I feel like men are in a difficult position these days bc it’s kind of taboo to approach women. If you do approach them just be respectful and if they shoot you down then walk away.
A guy I don’t know?
They’re not interested… they like my looks. No thanks.
Depends on the guy and context.
When I was single if I had zero interest in them, it meant nothing. If I had some interest, we would have a conversation or exchange information.
Confidence is nice, but the way he approaches matters too. If it feels respectful and genuine, it definitely gets my attention.
[removed]
I can honestly say this has never ever happened to me
It depends on whether I know him or not. If it’s someone I know at least a little and already have some sort of rapport with, it would probably be something I’d be open to as long as I hadn’t already made it clear to him I wasn’t interested (and he didn’t already have someone he was seeing).
I don’t want to be cold-approached by a stranger who clearly doesn’t know me or show any interest in me as a person, and is just hitting on me out of the blue.
I had a complete stranger approach me in the grocery store recently to compliment my appearance and ask me out, and it was not appealing to me because this guy literally knew nothing whatsoever about me other than what I look like.
He also didn’t have a grocery cart or appear to be shopping, and hadn’t even been in the same area of the store for a bit before approaching me, or anything. He just came around the corner empty-handed and immediately approached me.
I got the feeling he was probably just going around the store hitting on every woman who was there alone. It creeped me out a bit.
It might have been less weird if he seemed to actually be shopping or had talked to me about anything at all or showed some interest in getting to know me as a person before just greeting me and jumping immediately to hitting on me.
Stranger danger. Gotta run
Worn out, most likely
Surprised if I’m being honest. I approached often enough but it’s usually by people wanting directions or asking for money.
Depends on what he is relaying he is interested in. I enjoyed that approach when he was interested in me as a whole. I did not enjoy that approach when he was merely interested in some aspect of me, such as my body or just sex. I think confidence is appealing but it better be backed by authenticity and considerable awareness or it tends to run off the rails.
Like a random cold approach? I feel some variation of annoyed/anxious/wary, so I try to navigate out of the situation politely and prepare myself in case he reacts poorly to rejection.
Cold approaches, no matter how confident or how clear, are never going to be successful with me. The issue with random men approaching me to ask me out isn’t that I don’t think they are confident and clear in their intent.
I am completely oblivious. I’d assume he’s just being nice. Even if he asked me out for coffee I wouldn’t get it.
It would very much depend on how I personally feel in that moment and the vibe he is giving off.
Depends on multiple factors tbh. I mean if he’s very respectful in the way he goes about it and I like what I see, I may be a bit friendly.
a lot of men that approach me in their opinion “confidently with an intentional tone” – not talking about you necessarily! – are just weirdly aggressive and tense, so usually it gives me the heebee jeebees
it reminds me of some men on youtube-datingshows, the ones who try to be like “ok i’m supposed to show interest in her life and take initiative” but cause they’re so in their head and not even actually looking at the person in front of them, they just end up weirdly interrupting the girl cause they’re “in their plot” and going “aha so when was that. ah cool. ah. mhm. mhm.”
How else are you supposed to approach people? It would be nice. Obviously depends where and if it was an appropriate place. I’d be uncomfortable if it was a patient at work, for example.
If im out somewhere, shopping or a restaurant or bar, sure why not?
Generally they’re pretty anxious and shy so I find that really cute.
Happened to me. I find it weird. I’m demisexual so that’s probably it. I’d prefer a more casual non invasive approach if I’m being honest.
My wife’s response to this was “at best it would be like those people outside supermarkets standing next to charity tables trying to shake you down, at worst it would be like when you’re walking in the street at night and a random person is trying to get your attention”
It would be kinda weird. Because…..why? He doesn’t know me at all.
I mean…unless it’s during a hobby convention or something similar, that’s actually something I’d easily talk about with a stranger.
Yet any advances would be declined anyways, as I’m married.
Think first. Escape later.
Typically that annoys me.
Depends on the dude and how he goes about it. If he’s polite I get an ego boost, especially if he’s also attractive. If he’s overly pushy or otherwise inappropriate I just get annoyed and try to avoid him from now on. I will turn down guys either way, since I’m in a comitted relationship.
40 comments
“Oh no” or some variation
I mean context is everything. There is no set answer for this.
As I’m currently in a relationship I would find it very inappropriate and uncomfortable.
If I was single then yeah, really depends where, how and who
Context is important.
Because if this happened in a quiet space or my office, hell no. If it happened in a bar, okay cool.
Also just coming up and saying “I’m interested” is pretty lame, it should be predicated by something that would actually warrant interest.
Someone doing that would make me feel very anxious. Not because I would automatically assume he meant any true harm, just I don’t like being approached by strangers in *any* capacity if I can help it (lots of social anxiety), and to have the added pressure of a complete stranger suddenly being interested in me sexually/romantically/whatever would be incredibly stressful. I prefer to be left alone by people who don’t know me.
Thankfully, as a married woman in my 40s who’s at home most of the time and when I do go out it’s usually just to do the shopping or take a walk (and I’m often with my husband), and who mostly dresses in hoodies and sweatpants… yeah, that’s not a thing that really happens much at all.
Escape!
I literally have no idea what to do in this situation. I would nope out as expediently as possible.
Probably anxious, I have a bf and I also have confrontation so it’d make me feel so uncomfortable and awkward trying to think of how to turn him down.
Honestly I would be somewhat exasperated, maybe a little flattered and impressed by his confidence, but it would be a hard no for me and I’d wish that this uncomfortable situation had never happened.
Depends somewhat on the location, occasion and time of day, but some version of “here we go again,” followed by an attempt to extricate myself from the situation.
Being approached in a club is not the same as being approached in the street or at work.
“Oh no”
Relieved that I don’t have to mind read his intentions.
I like the direct approach tbh. “Would you like a drink?” “Well alright then.” If you’re not interested you just politely decline. How are they supposed to communicate with you? Fans and elaborate dance moves?
Like randomly? I’d be scared! But if it’s someone I have talked already beforehand, I’d feel flattered I guess. Confidence is hot so it grabs my attention.
I’d probably freak out and not know what to say. That’s usually my response. I like the direct approach but I’m the worst at expressing how I feel. I’ve never known when a guy likes me. I’ve suspected but didn’t want to shoot my shot due to fear of rejection.
I have been enthusiastically approached and it completely turns me off of the idea. Some people like to be wanted, but I don’t appreciate being thought of in that way so overtly. I do appreciate a level of confidence but it depends if it’s also cocky/pushy confidence.
It took me a few weeks to pick up signals from the person I’m “dating” now, and me initiating a meet up, but I much prefer that. Far less intimidating which is the last thing I want to feel from a man lol
I panic a little. I will also say it’s not always because it’s unwelcome.
If I’m interested then I love it. I feel like men are in a difficult position these days bc it’s kind of taboo to approach women. If you do approach them just be respectful and if they shoot you down then walk away.
A guy I don’t know?
They’re not interested… they like my looks. No thanks.
Depends on the guy and context.
When I was single if I had zero interest in them, it meant nothing. If I had some interest, we would have a conversation or exchange information.
Confidence is nice, but the way he approaches matters too. If it feels respectful and genuine, it definitely gets my attention.
[removed]
I can honestly say this has never ever happened to me
It depends on whether I know him or not. If it’s someone I know at least a little and already have some sort of rapport with, it would probably be something I’d be open to as long as I hadn’t already made it clear to him I wasn’t interested (and he didn’t already have someone he was seeing).
I don’t want to be cold-approached by a stranger who clearly doesn’t know me or show any interest in me as a person, and is just hitting on me out of the blue.
I had a complete stranger approach me in the grocery store recently to compliment my appearance and ask me out, and it was not appealing to me because this guy literally knew nothing whatsoever about me other than what I look like.
He also didn’t have a grocery cart or appear to be shopping, and hadn’t even been in the same area of the store for a bit before approaching me, or anything. He just came around the corner empty-handed and immediately approached me.
I got the feeling he was probably just going around the store hitting on every woman who was there alone. It creeped me out a bit.
It might have been less weird if he seemed to actually be shopping or had talked to me about anything at all or showed some interest in getting to know me as a person before just greeting me and jumping immediately to hitting on me.
Stranger danger. Gotta run
Worn out, most likely
Surprised if I’m being honest. I approached often enough but it’s usually by people wanting directions or asking for money.
Depends on what he is relaying he is interested in. I enjoyed that approach when he was interested in me as a whole. I did not enjoy that approach when he was merely interested in some aspect of me, such as my body or just sex. I think confidence is appealing but it better be backed by authenticity and considerable awareness or it tends to run off the rails.
Like a random cold approach? I feel some variation of annoyed/anxious/wary, so I try to navigate out of the situation politely and prepare myself in case he reacts poorly to rejection.
Cold approaches, no matter how confident or how clear, are never going to be successful with me. The issue with random men approaching me to ask me out isn’t that I don’t think they are confident and clear in their intent.
I am completely oblivious. I’d assume he’s just being nice. Even if he asked me out for coffee I wouldn’t get it.
It would very much depend on how I personally feel in that moment and the vibe he is giving off.
Depends on multiple factors tbh. I mean if he’s very respectful in the way he goes about it and I like what I see, I may be a bit friendly.
a lot of men that approach me in their opinion “confidently with an intentional tone” – not talking about you necessarily! – are just weirdly aggressive and tense, so usually it gives me the heebee jeebees
it reminds me of some men on youtube-datingshows, the ones who try to be like “ok i’m supposed to show interest in her life and take initiative” but cause they’re so in their head and not even actually looking at the person in front of them, they just end up weirdly interrupting the girl cause they’re “in their plot” and going “aha so when was that. ah cool. ah. mhm. mhm.”
How else are you supposed to approach people? It would be nice. Obviously depends where and if it was an appropriate place. I’d be uncomfortable if it was a patient at work, for example.
If im out somewhere, shopping or a restaurant or bar, sure why not?
Generally they’re pretty anxious and shy so I find that really cute.
Happened to me. I find it weird. I’m demisexual so that’s probably it. I’d prefer a more casual non invasive approach if I’m being honest.
My wife’s response to this was “at best it would be like those people outside supermarkets standing next to charity tables trying to shake you down, at worst it would be like when you’re walking in the street at night and a random person is trying to get your attention”
It would be kinda weird. Because…..why? He doesn’t know me at all.
I mean…unless it’s during a hobby convention or something similar, that’s actually something I’d easily talk about with a stranger.
Yet any advances would be declined anyways, as I’m married.
Think first. Escape later.
Typically that annoys me.
Depends on the dude and how he goes about it. If he’s polite I get an ego boost, especially if he’s also attractive. If he’s overly pushy or otherwise inappropriate I just get annoyed and try to avoid him from now on. I will turn down guys either way, since I’m in a comitted relationship.
Big nope.