I’m 23 and I’m dating an amazing guy. He’s handsome, smart, funny, financially stable, and he truly treats me like a queen. The only “problem” is that there’s no real chemistry between us. I know it might sound weird, but he treats me more like a little sister than a partner. He rarely looks at me with desire, doesn’t flirt or tease me and we barely have sex. When we do, it’s always kind of lukewarm, just “okay.”
The thing is, I feel very attracted to him. When I’m around him, I want him so much. We’ve talked about this, but he simply doesn’t have the same drive. He’s not asexual, and he swears he finds me attractive, but he just doesn’t show it. I’ve tried to encourage that side of him, but it didn’t really work because he doesn’t understand flirting, he only knows how to be sweet and affectionate. There’s also some insecurity that holds him back from being more bold, and this has been going on for over a year without real change.
I feel stupid because I can’t imagine marrying him knowing our relationship would feel more like being best friends than a passionate couple. I’m stuck in this dilemma: is it fair to break up with someone amazing just because of a lack of chemistry and sex? I admire him, I’m attracted to him, but not getting that energy back leaves me unsatisfied and sad. At the same time, I feel super selfish for even thinking this way. What do you guys think?