About 3-4 months ago I broke it off with this guy I was talking to pretty abruptly and told him to not worry about reaching out again because I’ll be moving on. I did this because I was nervous he’d keep me waiting instead of giving it a try and I got impatient. I just felt confused since he would initiate cuddles at the movies (never had sex) but then talk about not being ready and bring up how much he loved his ex for most conversations. Him talking about the ex didn’t bother me at first but it started to feel like there was a ghost of the ex with us and he did compare me to her at one point. Anyway, I did really like talking to him and out convos flowed, we were in the same career path, and both liked going on super simple dates. On our last date he was 35 mins late and didn’t apologize. I didn’t confront him because I wanted to have a nice night. In hindsight I felt a little bad because I drove a hour out to see him and he didn’t really have a plan for us but it ended up being a fun simple date we just got a sandwich and sat in McDonald’s chatting. After this it just felt like things were not preogressing and things had played out. So I called him and after he brought up his ex I followed up by saying I think we should stop this since we’ve been going on things that feel like dates but he keeps reminding me that he’s not ready. He also said he doesn’t see a problem with keeping his options open so that made me a little sad. Not that he should be exclusive for me. I just took it that he wasn’t interested anymore and I would have to cut things off so I don’t get potentially strung along. After that convo I told him I’d think about it and then after a day I asked to chat again but he avoided it so I just sent him some texts. I feel like they might have come off of passive since I really didn’t want to end things. Also felt like he needed to just reject me if he wants to look for more options. So I told him I’m breaking things off and he said he’ll come back when “he’s ready” but I got nervous about that and told him to “not bother I’m moving on”. Anyway, it’s been hard to keep him out of my thoughts. I feel like I was too abrupt when cutting him off. At the time I didn’t think it would be appropriate to mention the things that were bothering me since we weren’t in or heading towards a relationship. I don’t think he deserved me dumping this on him and leaving the relationship so suddenly and I feel sorry for not being more patient with him. I’m not too sure what to do because I don’t make friends that easily but it felt easy with him. Now I can see where I was wrong and I just keep thinking about how I should’ve managed my emotions better at the end. I miss him a lot but I’m not sure what to do. Sometimes I want to reach out but I know we’d both have to show that we changed. I’ve never been in a relationship but have experienced some lengthy situationships so I got a bit nervous with him. I wasn’t going with the flow enough. Any advice would be nice I’m just stuck thinking about my choice. I never had a bf haven’t dated anyone since seeing him and wish we could’ve given it more of a shot. I sometimes feel like it would help to send a final text and apologize regardless of the outcome
24f 27m